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The tears finally spilled at the reminder. “It’s my birth certificate.”
Linnea dropped the ball and took it from Ulla. She read it, and Ulla watched the curiosity on Linnea’s face turn into realization, then shock. Finally, acceptance. “Your mom’s been lying to you?” She wrapped Ulla into her arms. “I’m so sorry. I know how much you want your dad.” They broke apart, and Ulla sniffled. Linnea continued staring at the birth certificate as if memorizing it. “Peter Johansson. It has his birth date. Funny, it’s the same as mine. And an address. Maybe we could find him?”
“I don’t know,” Ulla said, the confusion burning her chest again. “I hate my mom right now, but I’m pretty sure I’d die if I ever lost her again. And the way she talks about Peter, it’s as if it would be the worst thing anyone could ever do to us.”
“Do what?” Linnea asked, handing the birth certificate back.
“Find Peter. Like he’d completely ruin our lives.”
“Really?” Her eyes were tender and it made Ulla choke up again. “How?”
Ulla shrugged and squinted at Linnea, her voice small when she asked, “Do you honestly love me?”
Linnea pulled her into a deep embrace. “More than anyone in this entire world.”
Ulla buried her face in her neck, inhaling the familiar Kmart perfume samples. She exhaled those three words she’d been longing to say, “I love you, too.” She knew Linnea might never feel the weight of them like she did. A weight in her heart big enough to overcome the trauma of watching her mother’s attempted murder, of being ripped away from Peter, and from Melia and Shorty, adrift. Ulla sank into those words. Her anchor—I love you, too.
Chapter Twenty
Ulla
Ulla pinned Linnea’s inky hair into matching side buns. The girls had found a silky white bathrobe at Kmart and wrapped it backward around Linnea to channel Princess Leia.
She didn’t want to go to Wiley’s party and watch Linnea pine over Everett, and she didn’t care for her classmates’ teasing. But any place was better than home with her lying mother, who was dangling the car keys to Tina. “I’m ready when you are! Can I get a picture of you two?” The forced brightness and the superficial niceties incensed Ulla. Stop pretending! she wanted to shriek at her but came to the conclusion that a vow of silence would be the cruelest punishment. Every word and acknowledgment Ulla withheld from her mother would be a stab. How does it feel to hurt the way I do?
On the short drive to Wiley’s house, they passed homes with decorations on the lawns, fake tombstones, and cotton-strung cobwebs. Lynched ghosts hung from trees, and an angry wind blew them perpendicular. The wind bruised the T-bird as her mother drove, competing with REO Speedwagon playing over the radio: “I’m Gonna Keep on Lovin’ You.”
Her mother barely pulled into the driveway when Ulla popped the door open. “Ulla,” her mother called as she stormed away, arms crossed. “What time—Linney—can you call me when you want to get picked up? Never mind, I’ll come at ten unless you call earlier!”
Linnea hurried behind. Stray tendrils escaped her Leia buns. “How long are you going to ignore your mom?” she said when they huddled next to the jack-o’-lanterns on Wiley’s porch.
“For as long as she lied to me.” Ulla punched the doorbell.
Wiley opened the door, dressed as a skeleton. “Oo-la-la! And Li-Leia!” He cracked himself up and then tilted his head at Ulla. “What are you?”
“Thrilled to be here,” she said without a smile and brushed past him, following the trail of Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” blaring from the basement.
“Everett is already her-ere!” Wiley sang after the two girls.
The music from the record player competed with The Incredible Hulk on TV. But even louder were two boys engaged in lightsaber battles and another group of kids shouting over the electronic tones of a Simon game.
Ulla and Linnea immediately went for the coffee table with bowls of Doritos, Bugle snacks, and cans of Pepsi. Ulla snapped the top on one and gave it to Linnea. They wedged themselves onto the sofa next to Patsy and Sunny, two nicer girls in their class, who looked just as uncomfortable nursing their own pops. Patsy’s brown ringlets were mushed into a high ponytail, and her freckles were dusted with glitter. Sunny’s real name was Megan, but her yellow hair and perma-smile lent to her nickname. The girls wore matching fairy wings and pink cheeks. “Did you hear we’re going to play seven minutes in heaven?” Sunny said.
“I heard it was spin the bottle,” snorted Ulla.
Over half of Mora’s seventh graders were crammed into the basement living room. Ulla, still used to being ranked dead last amongst the popular girls, was surprised at making the cut tonight.
She followed Linnea’s gaze to Everett. He was dressed in a plastic and polyester replica of Han Solo and jostling with a group of boys who were smashing empty pop cans on their foreheads. Kevin Wallin, another boy from their clique, had a Dr. Zaius mask pulled on his head and nudged Everett to look at Linnea.
Everett waved and pointed at his costume.
Linnea melted into the couch.
Patsy leaned across Sunny and hissed into Ulla’s ear, “Did you hear that JJ and Tanya are together?”
Ulla raised her brow as if she cared. Of course Jake Jensen, future small-town football hero, and Tanya, future captain of the cheerleading squad, were together. Sunny jumped in, “And did you hear Everett is moving!”
Linnea stiffened next to Ulla.
