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Stay Another Christmas

Page 109

by Phillipa Ashley

‘That I’m doing the right thing in walking away now. I – I had that conversation with Arlo before I left the house.’

Jess cocked her head on one side. ‘You don’t sound as if it was a very convincing conversation.’

‘It wasn’t from my side.’

Jess closed the car door again. ‘There’s no need for us to head off straightaway. If you need more time, I’m happy to wait. You don’t have to go today. You could stay longer.’

‘I have to go. We both agreed to put some time and distance between us.’

‘To test your feelings? Can I ask why?’

‘How must it look to Arlo? Me rocking up here and Ned turning up too? Arlo might have accepted that everything is over between us but he can’t believe I’m not on the rebound. The same thing happened with his girlfriend. They got together after a whirlwind romance and she left him when the going got tough and he needed support.’ Katie wouldn’t go into details. ‘It really screwed him up and I don’t think he could bear it if it happened again so we’re trying to be sensible and take things steady.’

Jess laughed. ‘Take things sensibly and steadily? Is that what any of your heroines would do? Is that the Katie Quillam that hundreds of thousands of readers know and love?’

‘Katie Quillam, the romantic writer, would dive in, sure. Not Katie, the battered and bruised woman who’s full of reasons why staying would be bad and what if things go wrong and she doesn’t know what to do. Oh God, I often don’t know what to do. There’s a lot I have no answers for, stuff I’m oblivious to. I still hate myself for not even seeing that you were in love with Ned. Jess, how are you feeling about leaving here after the way things ended?’

Jess shrugged. ‘I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad and haven’t shed a few tears, although it’s a weight off my mind that I don’t have to pretend, at least not with you.’

Katie hugged her. ‘Never pretend again. Always trust me. You are like family to me and I love you.’

‘Me too.’ Jess’s embrace tightened and when they let go of each other, her eyes were shining with tears.

‘I wish there was an HEA for you …’

‘There will be!’ Jess said. ‘I’m determined there will be, though just because Ned can’t have you doesn’t mean he wants me – and even if he did, I don’t think I want to be a second best.’

‘You deserve to be the number one in someone’s life. Nothing less will do!’ Katie said fiercely.

‘It strikes me that you aren’t second best to Arlo and he isn’t to you. He’s your number one, isn’t he?’

‘Yes.’

‘You said that without thinking. That means everything. So …’ Jess prompted.

‘If I want us to work, I have to make him believe he is number one. That’s not going to happen overnight.’

Jess laughed and rolled her eyes. ‘No, but it definitely won’t happen with you being three hundred miles apart! Why not stay and make that first step now. Here.’

‘I – can’t. I can’t stay.’

‘Why not? Would a Katie Quillam heroine somehow make it work? If she really loved the guy?’

‘Well, yes. Of course she would.’

Katie looked at the lake, at the ripples on the water and the sun sparkles. A switch flicked inside her head, turning on a light that was brighter than the winter sun.

‘My heroine would one hundred per cent make it work and I want to but how … how can I go back?’

‘Well, you could call him if there was a signal,’ Jess said.

‘There isn’t.’

‘Or you could wait for him at the Lodge?’

‘That could be hours while he clears out the house.’

‘Or—’ Jess flipped a thumb at a rowing boat tied up by the jetty.