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“This isn’t your fault.”

“Of course it’s my fault!” He turned to her then, and Iris was torn apart to see the anguish in his expression. A vein pulsed at the center of his forehead, and black tears pooled in his eyes, turning them from mist gray to obsidian. He blinked them away before they could fall. “How could I not realize what she was? She’s done nothing but lie to me since we met, and I’ve been too weak, too stupid to see it. And when I think of what she did to you, making you see your father like that⁠—”

Hands balled into fists, Blair began to pace in front of the fence, his entire body trembling. Iris stopped him in his tracks, gripping his wrists and holding them to her. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this, Blair Saltonstall. I don’t know what’s going on here, but obviously this witch’s problem is with Gabriel. You were just a pawn.” She spoke every word clearly, slowly, begging him to feel the truth in them. “And I’m at fault here, too. I was the one who made you promise to take her up on her offer to invest in your store.”

Blair pressed his lips together, his eyes darting around in search of escape. She thought they’d come so far, but here was the old restless Blair again, always thinking he was the problem, always expecting her to reach the end of what she could handle. As if she would ever ask him to leave. As if that wasn’t the very last thing she wanted.

“I should have left months ago. I shouldn’t ever have come.”

“Don’t say that.” She gripped his hands tighter; they remained limp in her grasp.

“Clement’s right. Gabriel should have forced me out of town the moment I showed up. The only reason he didn’t was because he didn’t want to hurt you. So I guess I’ll have to be the one to do it.”

“Is that what you want?” Iris asked. She shifted her hands so that her left clutched both of his and her right touched his cheek, gently angling him to face her. “To leave? Do you want to go home?”

Blair closed his eyes as Iris stroked her thumb down his cheek. “This is the only place that’s ever truly felt like home,” he whispered. He looked haunted, as though in his heart he was already gone. “But I can’t keep putting you and Gabriel at risk. I can’t be that selfish.”

“Please be selfish.”

A silent snow had begun to fall, coating the top of the lantern and dimming the faint light that pooled in a half-moon around them. Slowly, Blair shook his head. “I thought she was my friend. I told her about the three of us. About our lives. If she’s after Gabriel, she can use that information. I didn’t think I could ruin things more thoroughly than I already had, but⁠—”

Iris tucked a stray strand of his honey-brown hair behind his ear. “It’s not your fault for trusting someone.”

“The only person I really trust is you.” His eyes searched hers and he leaned forward so that their foreheads touched. “I love you, Iris.”

A warmth bloomed across Iris’ chest as though his words had breathed summer sunshine into her bloodstream. She leaned back so she could meet his eyes again, and the raw sincerity in them took her breath away. Tears gathered behind her lashes as she pulled him into an embrace.

“I love you, too.”

Blair’s arms tightened around her, and she rested her head against his chest. Somehow, he always smelled like fresh ocean air, as if he carried the sea in his bones.

“Don’t you dare leave me,” she breathed. “Not unless you actually want to. I’ll always want you here, no matter what.”

“I don’t want to go,” Blair promised, his hand stroking her short hair. “But I know I should.”

Iris pulled away, fixing him with a glare equal parts frustration and fear.

Blair actually had the gall to smile at her. It was a sad, tender thing, the kind of smile that shattered hearts, that said goodbye without words. “It’s okay. Really. I’ve always known you were too perfect to be mine for long.”

“I am yours.” Iris’ voice was strong and sure. She wielded her words like a dagger made of roses. “Forever.”

Blair’s hands curled around her waist and hers threaded through his wavy hair as their lips met. It was so different from the first time. Instead of tentative, Blair’s lips were fervent, feverish, as though he would never have the chance to kiss her again and he wanted to remember what it felt like. Iris gasped against his lips, pulling him closer. He tasted like stars pressing through the clouds, like wild grapes picked at sunset. Like home.

She felt his breath hitch as she ran her hands down his shoulders, his arms, lean with muscle. He trailed the fingers of his left hand down her spine, making her shiver, while his right hand pressed against the side of her neck, her pulse thrumming out a rhythm against his palm.

Her head swam. She couldn’t control the racing of her heart, and she knew she should ask him if he was okay, knew the sound must be reverberating through him like an earthquake. Her thoughts scattered as his tongue parted her lips, and she clutched him to her as though at any moment an enormous wave might crash over them, forcing them apart.

A fierce, protective tremor passed through her, and Iris swore to herself that she would do everything within her power to shield Blair, to stop his nightmares from morphing into reality. To keep him here with her, free and safe and home.

34

Lucy’s ring rested atop a velvet pillow on the music room side table, as fragile and precious as a tiny silver crown. Blair watched warily from one of the white pouf chairs as Clement ran a finger lightly over the rim of the ring, his eyes fluttering closed, eyebrows scrunched together in concentration. After a few minutes of this, Blair squinted out the window over his shoulder. If only he could rewind the clock back just a half hour, when he and Iris were out there⁠—

“Alright.” Clement’s voice drew Blair out of his reverie. “Give me something else of yours. How about that bracelet?”

Blair glanced down at his wrist, where a cotton bracelet, similar to the one Gabriel always wore but woven with blues and grays, rested against his skin. Reluctantly, he removed it and set it in Clement’s waiting palm.

Clement scowled. “Did Iris make you this?” Blair nodded, and Clement rolled his eyes, handing it back. “This bracelet contains two energies. It’s useless to me. Don’t you have an object that’s only ever belonged to you?”