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Iris’ emotions were like a tidal wave, a vortex, pulling him under. He gripped the edge of the table, gasping, as the force of her love for him, of her regret, threatened to sweep him away. He clenched his eyes closed, trying to steady his breathing. When he had gotten a hold of himself, he placed the paper upside down on a box behind him.
He turned back to Gabriel, who was staring at him with some concern.
“I’m sorry.” Gabriel held out his palms. “It’s private. I get it.” He removed a new receipt printer from the top of a box and placed it on the table so he could sit in its place.
Blair cleared his throat. “Can I get you something to drink?” He gestured to the mini fridge perched on a crate at the back of the cramped space.
“No. Thank you.”
Blair sat at the top of the short ladder, his feet resting on one of the lower rungs. He waited for Gabriel to speak.
“Look, Blair. I can never begin to tell you how sorry I am for everything that has happened to you.”
“You mean everything you let happen.”
Gabriel frowned, squinting up at him. “What?”
“It didn’t just happen to me like some illness, Gabriel. You and Clement allowed it to happen.”
Gabriel sighed. “Yes. Right. You’re right. I was a spineless idiot, Blair. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you any more than I already had. I realize that was wrong. I should have told you long ago, as soon as I was certain you were the man from my memory. Maybe even before then.”
When Blair didn’t respond, he continued. “I know you don’t remember, but I was the one who reunited you with your parents after Lucy’s death. Clement had been trying to find out who you both were for some time. He managed to track down your home address, and he wrote to your mother and father. He devised a plan to meet them, to…” Gabriel gestured vaguely, trying to find the right words, “return you,” he said finally, wincing slightly. “I drove our carriage to a prearranged location that Clement informed me was halfway between the church and your house. I made sure you got home safe.”
Gabriel’s voice broke on the final word. He closed his eyes.
“It’s the reason I didn’t insist on driving you and Iris to your parents’ home. I was afraid they might recognize me. And I was scared to learn the truth about the girl I had been too late to save. It was cowardly of me. My entire life has been defined by cowardice.”
Blair tapped his knuckles against the metal ladder. Gabriel was making it very difficult not to feel sorry for him, even if it was the very last thing he wanted to do. “And you didn’t recognize me when we met last fall?” he asked.
“I didn’t, no. You were in rough shape after what happened in that church, Blair. Almost unrecognizable.” His eyes moved over Blair’s current complexion. “You know, for an herbalist, you don’t have the healthiest looking skin, my friend.”
Blair scowled at him, but it held a trace of amusement.
Gabriel’s smile folded into a much more sober expression as he leaned across the table. “I was so focused on protecting the accused witches in our care that I managed to neglect the two people who needed our protection the most. I am truly, profoundly sorry.” He hesitated. “And I will gladly spend the rest of my existence trying to make it up to you, if you’ll let me.”
Freezing rain had begun to pelt the back room’s grimy window, and a car horn sounded off in the distance. Blair struggled to process Gabriel’s words. Was he truly saying that he wanted Blair back in his life, in their lives? It seemed much more likely that he had misunderstood.
“I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few weeks,” Gabriel continued, fiddling with the buttons on his coat sleeve as he spoke. “I don’t think that your mother’s prophecy was only for your benefit. The truth is that you’ve changed Iris’ life for the better. And, as much as I was unwilling to admit it, you’ve changed mine.”
Blair searched Gabriel’s face for signs of dishonesty. To his surprise, he couldn’t find any.
“We miss you. I miss you,” said Gabriel. “Frankly, you were nothing but a nuisance at first, but now the house feels utterly empty without you. I miss your nocturnal footsteps on the stairs waking me up. I miss the movie marathons we had with Iris. I miss making fun of you for your lack of intellectual merits only to discover you’re a New York Times bestselling author.” He smiled, and this time Blair grinned back, completely taken aback by Gabriel’s words. “I even miss your ridiculous concoctions spilled all over the counters.”
Blair crossed his arms. He leaned back against the ladder, which dug uncomfortably into his spine.
A shadow passed over Gabriel’s face. “And then there’s Iris… She’s lost without you, Blair.”
“I know you’ve resented me for coming between the two of you,” said Blair, his throat tight.
Gabriel nodded. “I did, at first. But truthfully, it was me who came between us. Iris promised me repeatedly that caring for you didn’t take away from how much she cares for me. It was my problem that I didn’t believe her… The fact is, I couldn’t see why she would want me in her life if she had you. You’re so honest with her, and I’m so closed off. But now I understand that she needs us both. And I hope that if you come home, you won’t mind if I hang around. I pledge myself to be a better friend than you have ever known, Blair.” He placed a hand against his chest. “I know I’m being terribly sentimental tonight, but I truly hope you will decide to return to us. Our family is incomplete without you.”
He stood abruptly, taking Blair aback. “Let me know if you’d like some assistance organizing your place,” he offered, readjusting his scarf. “I never did get around to helping last month. And Iris can attest to my superior renovation skills.”
Blair nodded, his hand absently twisting Lucy’s ring as he watched Gabriel weave through the precariously stacked boxes. In the doorway of the supply room, Gabriel hesitated, then turned back around to face Blair.
“You said once that your mother’s vision didn’t show me mistrusting you. Well… I think that may be because the precise moment she foresaw hasn’t happened yet.”
Gabriel offered him a rare, vulnerable smile, before walking to the front door, leaving Blair staring at the space he’d just vacated, a decision stretching out before him.