Page 27

"Why would I? And look at me when you answer, please."

"Because I'm a snitch. I'm the person who follows you around like an annoying babysitter and reports every little thing you do to your aunt and your parents. I'd hate me."

Claudia stared at her for a moment until her lips stretched into a smile that left her mouth half-open.

"You're doing your job, Laia. My parents, who have nothing better to do than stress me out, pay you for that. I'm not going to pretend it isn't a pain in the ass having you trail after me and sitting through my aunt's lectures every Monday like I'm still in school—but I like you, and I couldn't hate you even if I wanted to."

She started walking, and Laia stood still for a few seconds, processing her words, feeling a warmth spread through her chest even though she was freezing. She picked up her pace to catch up and fell into step beside her—maybe a little too close, because she accidentally brushed her hand against Claudia's, a miscalculation she corrected immediately by stepping aside—and Claudia glanced at her sideways.

"Can I ask you something personal?" Laia said as they were almost at Nadia's club.

"Mmm"—the sound was so low and deliberate that Laia felt herself get wet—"personal questions tend to be either uncomfortable or dangerous. Which kind is yours?"

Laia let out a nervous little laugh and pulled her coat tighter around herself, wishing she could skip straight from April to June so that nights in Barcelona would be bearable.

"I think it's uncomfortable."

Claudia tilted her head, weighing it.

"Go ahead."

"Why do you let them?"

They reached the line outside the club, and Claudia, instead of skipping it the way she usually did by using the perk of being the owner's friend, joined the back of it and looked at Laia.

"You mean this whole performance my parents have staged?"

"Yeah. Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think they actually have that kind of power over you. You're an adult, and going along with this—I don't know. Why are you doing it?"

Claudia went quiet. She dropped her gaze to the ground and her hands drifted away from her body. She started opening and closing her palms, and Laia was startled by how readily her own mind followed Claudia wherever she'd gone in that moment. She'd seen this happen before, but she'd never seen it begin. She didn't know what it was that sent Claudia somewhere else, but she'd just discovered that her parents probably had a lot to do with it.

"I think—" Claudia said without moving, though the sentence trailed off, as if she was somehow aware that she'd drifted away and didn't know how to come back.

Laia took her hand, and the world started spinning for both of them. Claudia turned her head slowly and fixed her amber eyes on their joined hands, trying to breathe and think at the same time, because she had the sudden sense that there wasn't quite enough air around her—her lungs had stopped moving, and a slow, tingling current climbed up her spine.

"Sorry." Laia let go as if the hand had burned her, and she felt her own fingers go bare all at once, but she pulled herself together.

"I think I'm just trying to buy time," Claudia said finally, moving forward in the line.

"Time for what?"

"I don't know. I guess to figure out what the hell I actually want. Or to finally decide what I'm going to do with my life."

"You don't like your life?" Laia ventured.

She let the air out through her nose and bit her lips.

"I imagine the honest answer is no."

Claudia decided she was done waiting in line, stepped out of it, and walked straight to the front with Laia close behind, fighting the urge to put her arms around her. They reached the bar where Pol looked like he'd grown into the furniture, and after saying hello, Laia drifted to her usual corner, ordered sparkling water, and settled onto a barstool while Claudia and her friend caught up.

"I feel kind of bad for her, you know?" Pol said, nodding toward where Laia was sitting. "She seems too wholesome for a place like this. Good person and all that—you know what I mean."

"You think you and I aren't good people?"

"No, but we're people without direction. The kind who go through life not knowing what they're doing tomorrow. Well—" he corrected himself, "I do know what I'm doing, but I'm a party animal, what can I say? You, on the other hand—"

"You don't need to finish that," Claudia cut in. She'd already had more than enough self-pity in her conversation with Laia and had no interest in sitting with another reminder that she was a coward who couldn't bring herself to stop, breathe, and think. It was easier to go out and burn through money while resenting her parents for turning her into this—though she resented herself more for letting it happen.