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I smile despite the tears. “I think he would too.”

Chapter 37

Saint

Suggested Listening - Like I'm Gonna Lose You, Jasmine Thompson

The courtyard is quiet, the evening air thick with the scent of cut grass and wildflowers fading sweetly into the dusk. Whilst the fairy lights strung overhead cast warm pools of gold across the old stone walls. Bri, Ember and Enzo are gathered on the sofas, sharing a bottle of white wine.

Bri is halfway through a story when she notices me. Her smile falters. “Saint?”

I must look as awful as I feel. “I... need to talk to you all.” The words come out steadier than I expect. “Actually…” I glance towards Enzo. “Would you mind grabbing Luna? And maybe a few more bottles of wine?”

He studies my face for a beat before standing. “I think maybe tonight is a wine night, sì?”

“I think we’re going to need it.”

He pats my shoulder gently before heading back across the courtyard. Luna's door stands open as he passes it, and he slows just long enough to lean into the doorway and say something I can't quite hear before continuing on into the lodge.

I lower myself onto the sofa opposite Bri and Ember. Neither of them speaks. They don't need to. The worry rolling off them is almost tangible.

A moment later, Luna appears in the doorway looking thoroughly confused, pulling a cardigan on as she crosses the courtyard to join us. "Enzo said there was an emergency."

She sits beside Bri just as Enzo reappears, three more bottles balanced expertly in his arms. He sets them on the table with theatrical care.

“These,” he announces, “are on house.” He looks between our faces. “I leave you to talk.”

I hesitate. Then shake my head. “No. You should probably hear this too.”

He moves quietly between us, pouring wine into each glass in turn, before finally settling on the end of the sofa I'm occupying.

Bri folds her hands together. “Is this about what happened inside with Jax?”

“Yes,” I say, staring into my wine for a long moment trying to summon the courage to confess, again. “I’ve been lying to all of you. Aaron…” My throat tightens around his name. The words barely make it out. “He died.”

The courtyard seems to stop breathing.

"Just over a year ago.”

Bri's hand flies to her mouth. Ember goes completely still. Luna simply stares. And Enzo just closes his eyes for a moment, like he's somewhere else entirely.

“It was a car accident.” I swallow hard. “Jax was there.” The silence stretches, heavy enough to touch. “He wasn’t even driving. I thought he was—I blamed him, for a long time.” My voice catches. “But it wasn’t his fault.”

Ember’s eyes widen. “Oh my God…” Her voice is barely audible. “That’s why he disappeared.”

I look at her. “What?”

“The year away from the spotlight.” Understanding floods her expression. “That’s why he stopped partying, got therapy.”

“Yes,” I reply, guilt gnawing at me, before continuing. “I didn’t mean to lie. I’ve just been… Surviving. I couldn’t say the words out loud… Aaron is dead. Even now they hurt.” My fingers reach for the locket, thumb gently brushing the small piece of him I still carry. “So, I just kept talking about him like he was still here.” The tears finally spill. “When I got here, you were all strangers, and it was nice.” I wipe my eyes, the confession feeling almost shameful even as I say it. “It was nice talking about him without everyone looking at me like I might break. No pity. No awkward silences, no faux sympathy—I just got to talk about the man I love as though he still existed.”

Bri’s eyes fill.

“I know that probably sounds insane.”

“It doesn’t,” she says immediately.

I continue before I lose my nerve. “And I blamed Jax.” The admission hangs heavily between us. “I convinced myself he was responsible because I needed someone to blame.” I close my eyes, against the silence, against the truth of what I’ve just admitted. “But then I met him, and he ruined that story. He kept being…” I search for the right word. “Kind. He’s not the man I imagined.”