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“Hazel? You in there?” Sam joked.

“Huh? Oh, sorry. A two, did you say?” Hazel stared at her deck.

“Close. Ish. A queen?”

“Ha, right. Here you go.” Hazel passed the card. They finished the game, and Sam suggested a movie. Sitting in the dark, Sam placed his hand on Hazel’s leg under the blanket, and she cuddled in a little closer. He eventually moved his arm around her and pulled her to his chest. Hazel tried to concentrate on the movie. There were a lot of explosions with expensive looking cars racing around an Italian city. The butterflies in her belly were back, but they were more frenzied than last time. Her breathing quickened, and she turned to Sam, startled when she caught him already staring at her. He chuckled, a slow, easy laugh, and she grinned at him. Sam bent his head down and kissed her. He eventually manoeuvred her so she was seated in his lap. They continued to kiss, softly at first. Sam tried to break the kiss, but Hazel refused, pulling him back. He tried again, eventually prying himself off her. A look of annoyance crossed her face, and Sam laughed.

“Do you want to turn this off?” he asked.

Hazel nodded, relieved that he wasn’t trying to stop. The break was just long enough for that damn voice in her head to pipe up again. Don’t do this. Stop now.

Defiant, she pushed all thoughts from her mind as Sam switched off the TV and picked her up. Hazel kissed his neck as he carried her into his bedroom, closing the door as he went.

Hazel woke, wrapped in Sam’s arms. She lay, content and warm as she felt Sam breathing steadily. She thought of Josie and their plan for the day. Hazel felt a little nervous, but ultimately thought they were doing the right thing. She still couldn’t believe what Josie had told her. It was so horrible to think of her friend, scared and alone, never feeling safe enough to even try and make friends. Sam stirred, and Hazel’s thoughts circled back to her own life.

A feeling of dread encapsulated her. She had gotten good at immediately dismissing her ping ponging thoughts. Distraction was the best technique. But she knew she had to face it sooner or later. Besides, her savings would eventually run out. She couldn’t stay unemployed forever.

Apart from her career, other aspects of her life were comfortable here. She was back with her mother, she’d developed a passion for jewellery making, and she was actually kind of good at it. New friends and old friends had come together, and she really felt like they were beginning to create a tight circle. She had only ever had that once before, as a child with Serena, in Bells Bay.

An extremely good looking and kind man had her wrapped in his arms at this very moment, another new beginning of a relationship that seemed to run very smoothly, although admittedly it was only early days. She wondered what their wedding would be like.

Hazel’s body went rigid as she realised what had just snuck into her brain. She’d never had that thought about any guy before, not even Tim, and she’d moved cities for him.

Am I doomed? Hazel pursed her lips.

She wondered what life would be like if she decided to stay. Sam was certainly giving her every indication that he liked her, but did he want something serious?

He knew she was planning to leave… but they’d never broached the subject again. He never asked. Maybe Sam was happy with something casual?

Deciding to humour herself, she wondered what would happen if she did stay and things with Sam got serious. She would be surrounded by her friends and family, but what would she do? What would define her? She supposed she would just have kids. Would that be enough for her?

Hazel had a career, one she had sacrificed ten years of her life for. If she stayed here, all that hard work would be for nothing. It would be a waste of a quarter of her life. Okay, so her last job hadn’t exactly been the ideal fit. She’d known that after a few weeks there. She also knew that being fired had really been a blessing. It had forced her out of that soul sucking company that she could now admit she had hated. She could go anywhere and do anything she wanted.

But she was in two minds. Her heart showed her what her life could be if she stayed in Bells Bay. Although a little unrealistic, it was hard to resist. But her head told her to leave, and so began the relentless back and forth of trying to make a decision.

Would she even marry Sam anyway? Maybe they’d date for a while, and it wouldn’t work out. It could end, as all of her other relationships had. Hazel sighed deeply. Her head was beginning to pound into a headache. This is exactly why I ignore this, she thought.

Sam squeezed her gently.

“Morning,” he whispered in her ear.

Hazel hesitated as she tried to clear her mind. There was nothing she could do about her decision now, so she may as well just live in the moment. Besides, this had the potential to be a very nice moment. She turned a little to face him.

“Hello,” she said with a smile.

“I like this.” Sam grinned back at her. He hugged her a little tighter.

Hazel murmured in contentment as she moved to place her head on his chest. He traced a finger along her arm, kissing her temple. His other hand linked with hers as she tipped her chin up to kiss him. She pushed her body into him, his hand resting on her waist. Their kiss deepened, and they disappeared together into a tangle of sheets.

That afternoon, Sam pushed his dirty clothes into the washing machine. He was in a good mood. Sam had felt so content being with Hazel that morning. She belonged in his arms. She belonged with him. Of this, he was so sure. He knew he had to convince her to stay. Knowing he had to find the right balance between hinting about it and not being too pushy or seeming manipulative, he pondered what to do. They seemed such a good fit naturally, so perhaps it was best to just let the feelings do the convincing? He knew she liked him. She always seemed excited to be with him when they were together.

And of course, Hazel knew how much he wanted her to stay, surely. After all, he’d made her dinner, bought her flowers. He was showing her how much he liked her. Actions speak louder than words, he thought. He would convince her to stay with his actions. By continuing to show her how he felt about her, she would probably be more receptive to staying. He would never want her to feel like she had made a decision based on what he wanted, and he wanted her to want to stay of her own will. As he thought more, he realised his initial idea of letting the feelings do the convincing was probably the best strategy. Hazel needed to make her own decision that didn’t involve him trying to convince her of anything. He would just treat her normally and not push on the subject. The washing machine hummed as he turned it on, and Sam nodded to himself, happy with his plan.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Hazel and Josie sat in the Bells Bay Police Station. The cold plastic chairs were becoming increasingly uncomfortable. Josie was nervous, and she hadn’t stopped babbling since they’d arrived.

“I’m glad you like the logo. I’ve ordered you some stickers and business cards, oh and also a sign for the markets. I got them express posted, so they should be here before the weekend.” Josie spoke fast as she smoothed her skirt. She was wearing a navy midi skirt, a striped top and nude ballet flats, with her blonde wig dead straight.