Page 30

A hair net covered a cap of dark hair on top of Josie’s head. She began to pull at the pins holding the hair net in place. Eventually she ruffled her hair, a wild curtain of long coffee coloured curls. Hazel and Serena, who’d been sitting in a shocked silence, suddenly gasped.

“What’s going on?” Serena asked, clearly confused.

“I was in Melbourne for about two years. Before that, it was Adelaide and Canberra. I’ve been building up my graphic design business as Michelle Dawson. Michelle has a long bob of black hair, with blue eyes and wears glasses.”

“Wait, who’s Michelle Dawson?” Hazel asked, perplexed.

“Me. I’m Josie, but I’m Michelle Dawson professionally. My real name is Claire.”

“Why are you all of those people?”

“Because I have to be. I fled a domestic violence situation. I’m originally from Perth, where I was living with my ex. We were together for about a year.” Josie stopped, taking a deep breath. “He was amazing at the start. I didn’t see the controlling behaviours; they were so subtle. I realise now he was love bombing me.

“Then six months in, he slapped me. He was so mad when he did it. Afterwards, he was a mess, crying and begging for me to forgive him. He told me it would never happen again. I loved him and I, I believed him. Then began the toxic cycle.

“I don’t have any family. My parents died when I was younger; my grandparents raised me, but they’ve passed on too. I have no one else. I started to lose my friends, and looking back, I can see that’s what he wanted. He made me quit my job. He thought I had no money, that I was dependent on him. He didn’t know, I’d never told him, but my parents and grandparents left me money in a trust account. Plus, I had invested some of my savings in shares, which he didn’t know about either.

“He was worse when he was drunk. The night before I left, he punched me so hard in the stomach that I threw up. I was lying on the bathroom floor for hours while he was crying outside the door. I was done. I couldn’t live that way anymore. I was so mad at myself because I’d stayed as long as I did. People don’t realise, though, it’s so hard to leave. And that’s the most dangerous time. But I was lucky. I had money he didn’t know about. We didn’t have kids. I didn’t have a job anymore. The house was his. Everything was his. The clothes he bought me, I didn’t like them anyway. I could leave. I just had to come up with a plan. He told me the next day he was going out that night, but he wanted me to make his favourite dinner, apricot chicken,” Josie shuddered at the thought, “before he went. Goodness knows, I’ll never, ever make that again.

“I walked to the shopping centre, bought a cheap wig and a large jacket. I packed a small bag and hid it in the back of the pantry. He came home with a bracelet and some flowers. I made him dinner. He was in a great mood. After he left, I put the wig and the jacket on, grabbed my bag and walked out the door. I got a bus to Adelaide and eventually went to Canberra – it’s easier to change your name there. I felt so stupid. I had always prided myself on my ability to read people, not to be manipulated, yet I was living with someone who was literally chipping away at me every single day, and I hadn’t even noticed.

“I started my business. You’ll notice my name isn’t on the website. When I video call clients, which I try to keep to a minimum, I’m Michelle Dawson. I wear her disguise. I was finally starting to create a new life, but then one day I swear I saw him on the street. Just a flash. But it was enough. I went back to my place, packed everything up and moved to Melbourne. The same thing happened there, though. I was in Melbourne for a little while longer. I thought I saw him, so I raced home and picked some random little town on a map. Here I am.” She shrugged.

Hazel and Serena sat, staring. Serena’s mouth hung open as Hazel tried to speak. “I, wow. I don’t even know what to say. Josie, that’s horrible.”

Josie nodded. “I’m tired of feeling afraid. It goes away somewhat when I get settled, but it’s there, always there in the back of my mind like a dull ache. I try to blend in, be in the background. I don’t make friends. I avoid talking to people. It’s been so lonely. But then I met you, Hazel. The instant we met, I felt like I could tell you anything. I just had this overwhelming feeling that I could trust you, like I’d found someone really special.”

Turning to Serena, Josie continued, “And again, I felt that with you, Serena. It’s so strange. I’ve never had a feeling like that before, and to feel it twice in the space of a few days. It kind of knocked me over. I’ve fought against myself, opening up to you both, even going to your place for dinner, coming shopping today. I don’t do things like this. I’ve had to force myself, but at the same time, you both make it feel so easy. So natural. I know I’ve only been here a short while, but I really feel like this could be home. I don’t want to keep running. I’m tired of it. I just want some roots.

“I was planning to go to the jewellery class to meet people, so I could try to feel normal again, have a normal life. I freaked out beforehand in the car. I nearly didn't go inside. But something told me I had to. I think someone or something was pushing me to make sure I met you.

“I hope this doesn’t make me sound deranged. Saying it out loud, I really feel like it does.” Josie raised her eyebrows as she stared at the floor.

“Of course not, Josie,” Serena said. She sighed heavily. “My husband died five years ago. I’m not sure if Hazel told you.”

Hazel shook her head as Josie murmured her condolences.

“Anyway, I’ve been through some stuff. Trust me, you don’t sound deranged at all.” Serena let out a wry chuckle.

“I’m sorry I freaked out about the social media thing, Serena. I just can’t have my face on there. I have an account, but it has no photos. I just follow the people and things I like, but I never post anything. I’ve been so paranoid. I do things that probably don’t even matter all that much, like using cash where I can. For the first year, I only ever wore hoodies when I was in public, trying to avoid CCTV cameras.” Josie groaned at the memory.

“Oh, Josie. I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this all alone,” Hazel whispered.

“We really appreciate you telling us. We’ll do everything we can to help keep you safe. Did you ever report anything to the police?” Serena asked.

“No. I just wanted to disappear, to be honest. Plus, I always wondered if I’d be believed. I took photos of every injury he gave me, and I wrote a journal. I have it with me. It’s got dates and everything.” Josie paused. “He was just so charming. Everyone around us thought he was the perfect man. The perfect partner.”

“If I had a dollar for every time I’d heard that word used to describe a monster like that, I’d be very rich,” Serena seethed.

“I think we should go to the police,” Hazel said softly. “I think if you report it all, and anything ever happens, and he tries to come here, it would help.”

“I agree. We’ll come with you. We could go tomorrow?” Serena looked at Josie.

Josie was silent for a moment, pondering. “Okay. If you think it’s a good idea.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

Hazel climbed the steps to her mother’s studio. As she opened the door, light flooded the dark stairwell. She could see the bright blue of the sky, the roof of the house struggling to hide the sun as it began its descent in the west. Soft music flowed from the built-in speakers. Bird songs and babbling brooks filled Hazel’s ears as she made her way over to her mother. Molly was perched on a wooden stool, carefully making small strokes in dark red paint on a canvas that sat on the easel. Bailey lay at her feet, barely moving as Hazel approached.