Page 69 of Flower in the Rain

“Scalpel.” Melanie places the scalpel in my hand, and I take a deep breath. Pressing the blade down, I make a clean incision, and dark crimson blood wells. “Clamp.” The metal clicks, and I hand the blade back to Melanie. Never once looking away from my task. “Gauze.” Melanie presses the gauze down, and it fully saturates with the crimson. “Gauze.” Melanie replaces the gauze. “Clamps.” The metal clicks again, clamping down on the bleeding vessel. “Ligature.” Melanie places the braided silk in my hand, and I loop it around the vessel just below the clamp and tie a square knot. A cloth dabs at my forehead. “Pulse?”

“One-fifty. Thready.”

I swallow and take a deep breath. Continuing the process of ligating and packing, trying not to feel too relieved as the bleeding slows.

“Scalpel.” With the scalpel in hand, I slide it against the flesh, deeper through the muscle. Blood wells, soaking the gauze. “Retractor.” Melanie hands me the cold metal hook. I slip it beneath the muscle flap, lifting with steady pressure. The tissue stretches and holds. “Pulse?”

“One-fifty, thready.” It’s racing, but he’s hanging on.

With my hands steady, I tease the muscle aside with the scalpel, revealing the white, glistening bone beneath. The metallic smell thickens around me, my stomach tightening at the thought of it coming from Cain.

You can’t do this now.

Stay numb now. Feel later.

When I’m finished, I set the scalpel on the tray next to me.

“Is the donation complete?”

“Yes,” Riah says.

“Good. Get Pru to the waiting room.” Some crying and some protest, but her voice fades as Cal takes her away. Seeing this won’t be good for her. Placing my hands on Cain’s leg, I grip him steadily. “Saw,” my voice lowers to a level I’ve never heard. This is it…

Melanie positions the bone saw, and I grab hold while keeping one hand on Cain’s leg. Resistance fights me on my first drag across the bone.

Keep pushing forward.

My muscles tense, and I push and pull the saw until a dull, grinding scrape pricks my ears. Despite the clamps, blood oozes through, and Melanie blots with the gauze.

“Pulse?”

“One-fifty-five. Thready.”

“Start the blood. Now.”

Cain’s leg vibrates in my hand as I continue the push and pull of the saw. Until finally, the bone gives, the cut clean through. My heart jumps when I hear Cain’s shallow, rapid breaths.

I take a deep breath as I slowly set the severed leg into the basin at my side. Blood oozes from Cain’s leg, and I tighten the clamps.

“Pulse?”

“Ninety. Weak. Thready.”

“He’s slipping into shock. Clamp! Ligature!” Melanie hands me the supplies, and I secure them to the vessels. “Keep the blood coming! Full speed!” I swallow, my eyes flit to Cain’s chest, the rise and fall shallow, his color ashen. I dart my sight back to his leg.

Don’t look. You have a job to do.

Gauze. Clamps. Ligatures.

I will not let you die.

Everything is in place. I take a deep breath. We’re not done yet.

“Loosen the tourniquet.” Melanie's hands tremble in front of me. “It’s okay, don’t forget to breathe.” My heart sinks as blood rushes to the stump with a thick pulse. “Pulse?”