Page 48

Wrapping my arms around my legs, I tuck my knees to my chest.

In and out. In and out. In and out.

My eyes sting. I hang my head, letting the tears fall silently down onto my dress. I shouldn’t have left her. I should have helped her.

I should go back.

She told me to run… She told me to run…

She will come for me. And if she doesn’t, I will stay.

My footsteps echo in the corridor of the east wing. Whether they truly sound different here, or it’s purely a mental difference, I don’t know. While I have only lived here permanently for a couple of years now, I still spent most of my nights in the manor since my mom moved into the infirmary. Cain’s made it clear since then that I wasn’t allowed to be here. That was one of his rules for me before we even started anything. Don’t let his father look at me. His words haunt my mind and pull me back with every step forward. Like I’m walking through sand on my way to see him.

On my way to see Alistair.

The sconces flicker as I pass. Offering a warm glow to light my way to my only way out of this situation. This should be the light at the end of the tunnel, but as I walk through this level ground, it feels like my descent into darkness. A pit that will swallow me whole, that I will never return from.

I don’t know why Cain doesn’t want me to see his father. Alistair has always been friendly, gentle, and has a warm smile that lights up the room. Yet Cain’s expression turns to steel when he talks about him. When Alistair is mentioned, I look into Cain’s eyes, and this feeling washes over me. The relationship between Cain and Alistair isn’t a typical strained father/son relationship.

Alistair must be a monster.

Not all monsters appear to be one. Not every bad man, like my uncle, wears a grimace and wields poison.

Maybe Alistair likes being a monster, and that’s why he’s always smiling.

Alistair’s office door looms over me, its frame nearly reaching the height of the raised ceiling. It’s a cathedral arch, carved with smooth pillars topped with clubs shaped like clovers, the metal knob carved with a matching clover club.

Clovers are lucky… Right?

I fidget with my dress and pat my hands over my braids to check that I’m presentable. Or more so, to occupy my trembling fingers. My purple cotton dress is perfectly ironed; all the buttons are fastened. My double-Dutch braids twist into a bun and are secured with hair forks don’t have a hair out of place.

With a deep breath, I ball my hand into a fist and give three knocks at the door. It opens immediately, Caius standing to the side with his hand on the knob.

Caius is the oldest of the Powers' sons and spends most of his time with Alistair. They’re much more alike. I always wonder why Alistair puts his focus on Cain when Caius clearly wants to be the successor.

“Well, well! Isn’t this a surprise,” Alistair’s voice booms when I cross the threshold to his office. He sits behind a large mahogany desk, smiling from ear to ear. “Tell me, Miss Daily, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He asks, leaning back in his chair, his eyes moving over me from head to toe.

Stepping up to his desk, I keep my hands clasped and low. I need to keep my fingers in check. This is my last chance.

“I came to inform you of my mother’s passing.” Alistair’s brow pinches in the middle. I swallow, pressing my forefinger and thumb tips together to try and keep myself from picking.

“Well… I am very sorry to hear that.”

Breathe. Stay Calm. You can do this.

Listening to my self-instruction, I take a deep breath, roll my shoulders, then meet Alistair’s gaze.

“I know that my living here has always been a courtesy, given my mother’s condition. That when she was gone, I was to move back in with my uncle.” Alistair nods, then holds his chin, running his thumb along his scruff as he locks his eyes with mine.

“I would very much like to stay…” I let out a stuttering breath. “I will do anything to stay; I can’t go back with him.” Alistair leans forward, elbows on his desk, his hands forming a steeple at his chin. “I will quit my job at the theater, the clinic. I can devote all my time to the manor. I’ll stay quiet and out of the way. You wouldn’t even notice that I’m here. I could just be a member of the staff.” He holds up his hand, leaning back in his chair.

“Don’t quit your jobs. You can stay.”

My hands loosen, my chest flowing at ease with each breath. I don’t have to go back to him.

“We have a new subset of maidens, one that you would fit in with well, given your status in our society.” He reaches into the top drawer to his right, pulling out a packet and pushing it out in front of me, along with a pen. “Register for this, and you can live here. Under a new room assignment, of course.”

I always knew this was where I would end up, that I would need to register if Cain didn’t want me.