Page 27

It’s been eight years since I found Violet in her closet. Eight years since I decided to keep a close eye on her, even if from a distance. And it’s turned into something that I know I’ll never be able to stop. My first deployment proved that to be true; my feelings for her are not a mere infatuation that will dissipate with time or distance. My desire and adoration for her cannot be wiped away. She is irreplaceable to me. Violet’s melodies haunt the hallways of the manor, the stage at the dinner theater, my dreams, and absent thoughts. Her ethereal five-octave voice and elegance as she moves across the stage will forever be the only entertainment I need. She’s a true artist with her work, and if nothing else, I am an appreciator of art.

Now that Dean has been showcasing her more, other guys are starting to notice her. The restaurant's popularity exploded after the reviews of her performance spread through the city and neighboring towns. That’s why I started bartending at the dinner theater for Dean when I’m home, to make sure they keep their hands off what is mine. And Violet is mine.

Waiting for my Flower to come to the library, I lean back against the bookshelf nearest the Bay window and read Wyoming’s field guide to trees and wildflowers. It’s like clockwork with her; on nights she’s not performing, she comes to read and look out into the valley. My little introvert, I’m dying to get her alone. It’s been months, and I can’t wait to touch her again. My ears prick at her feather-light steps as they come to a halt in the doorway. I keep reading my book, giving just a glance to take her in. Her gaze darts to me, then back to her spot at the bay window. Her chest rises and falls in deep, controlled breaths. I love how just my presence has this effect on her. After a beat, she practically floats across the floor to the center bay window, hugging her book to her chest.

Yellows, reds, and oranges paint the skyline, lighting the valley in a warm glow. Violet tucks her purple dress beneath her as she cuddles into the cushions and opens her book. Her blonde hair is freshly washed, leaving her waves and ringlets light and bouncing a little with her movements. Soft, just like the main character in a Renaissance romance.

I give her a little time to herself, glancing at her between pages. After a couple of chapters, I take a mental note of my page number and take a seat opposite Violet. Bending one leg to my chest, I rest my elbow on my knee, lean back against the cushion, and watch her. She glances up and smiles, letting me know she will give me her attention when she finishes her page. Violet is always present, giving you all of herself when she’s with you. She makes you feel like you’re the only one in the room. Unfortunately for my inner monster, she has a nasty habit of giving everyone she talks to the same full attention. I want to lock her away, preventing anyone outside of my circle from getting an ounce of my Flower.

Violet peeks up over her book, trying to hide the smile that I see creeping up to her eyes. It’s when she dog-ears the page and sets the book aside that I see she is biting her lip to stifle her expression. My lovely Flower, inviting me to nibble her lips without even knowing what she’s doing.

“Hey…” She acts as if she wasn’t the one who did my intake appointment at the infirmary yesterday. She did her best to stay professional, but her fingers lingered on my arm when she took my blood pressure. Her arms snake around her waist, and I notice she’s only wearing her knit tights, her toes curling. I can think of another way to make her toes curl.

“I’ve missed you.” Sliding in next to Violet, I wrap one arm around her shoulder and take her chin in my hand, tilting her up to meet my gaze.

“Oh…” I tuck a few loose curls behind her ear so that I can have a full view of her rose-tinted skin, the gentle touch sending a shudder down her spine. As I move my fingers past her ear, I weave them through her hair and take a gentle hold of the nape of her neck, my thumb gliding along her pulse point with enough pressure to feel her not-so-steady heart. I was right, it’s beating like a drum. She holds my gaze as I take her hand, lift it to my lips, and kiss the tops of her fingers. She stills, and I can’t help but smile before kissing her fingers again. Violet is naturally alluring, biting her lower lip and curling her toes. Other girls I know do these things on purpose, to a point of excess where it’s completely obvious they’re vying for attention. “What are you doing, Cain?” There’s a thick frog in her throat working to choke back her feelings.

“I missed you.” cupping her face, I lean down and capture her lips with mine. A small noise escapes her throat, and I swallow it up, kissing her again and again. Nibbling, biting, and sucking her lower lip into my mouth. Violet brings her palms down onto my chest, her fingers curling around the fabric as she pushes me away in a chaotic tug-of-war of emotions. I don’t back down; I’m not gentle. I kiss her again and again to satisfy my inner monster that’s been counting down the minutes until she was back in my arms. I’m a beast that has found its perfect prey, and she will not escape me. After a few moments of protest, her lips become pliable and her body molds with mine, relaxing and entering the euphoria with me. One touch of her and all the control I had when I entered the library breaks down. It takes everything left within me to pull away from her lips. I take a breath, and I’m diving back in, kissing and sucking along her jaw, down to her collarbone. Soft moans fill the air between us and shoot straight down to my cock. If I don’t stop now, I know I will take it too far, too soon. When I pull away and look down, I see that her bottom lip is painted purple. My mark, my girl, mine.

“I don’t want to be a secret, Cain… I can’t be.” She feebly pushes her palms against my chest. “And I don’t see why you would want that either. Why don’t you go and kiss someone whom you want to share with the world?” Her question sounds off in the distance, like she’s calling for me to take her hand, but she’s afraid to step into the dark with me.

“You’re the only one I want to kiss.” Pulling her into me, I seal my lips to hers once more. This time, she puts her weight into the shove, and I allow her to take more space. But I keep one hand on her waist and the other on her nape.

“That doesn’t even make sense, Cain!” The normally docile flame within her flares to greater life as she fights me, pushing against my chest, attempting to wriggle out of my hold. Violet always runs and hides whenever she’s overwhelmed with sadness. She builds a wall, refusing to let me see her tears if she can help it. I see them now, welling up beneath the surface. But I only grip on tighter; she’s not getting away from me. Not now, not ever. “You hardly ever look at me. The only reason we ever see each other is that we have mutual friends. Why do you seek me out to fulfill your needs when you could choose someone that you actually want to spend time with?”

“You’re the only one I want to spend time with.” I run my thumb up and down along her waist.

“You don’t… Cain, we got back six months ago and you have hardly looked at me. After everything we’ve done, I’m living in this delusion that you have feelings for me… It hurts. Why would you say that you want children with me, if there’s no chance of that happening? Is it just role play for you?”

I lean back, keeping my arm around her, and play with a lock of her hair. Twisting and weaving the loose curls through and around my fingers. I make a point to move my hand low enough to brush against her fingers, and I take slow, deep breaths until she is matching me and relaxing into my chest. Nuzzling my nose in her hair and along her ear, I inhale her floral scent. She smells like springtime, like flowers in the rain. “You’re right, I’ve put in a lot of effort to act like you don’t exist. I’ve tried that, and it’s not working… So, I decided something.”

“What’s that?” she stills when she looks up to find me staring down at her.

“You’re mine, Violet.” Her eyes narrow and her head tilts as she studies me.

“And what does being yours mean, Cain?” My long fingers cup around the nape of her neck, reaching around to stroke her pulse point. Up and down. Up and down. She composes herself so well that the only way of knowing how she feels is to pick up on her little tells. How she closes her eyes for an extra beat, bites the corner of her lower lip, or rubs the pad of her thumb and pointer finger together. Or my favorite way to find out: to feel how her heartbeat rises beneath my fingertips.

“You will be my companion, my favorite canvas.” She shivers, remembering her taste of my depravity, “and my slave.” Her lips part for a beat, then they close; her throat works with a swallow. I can’t fight the twitch upward in my lips when I feel that little jump beneath my fingers. “We will be spending a lot more time together, in private. We will go over the details when you come to me tomorrow.” She closes her eyes and swallows, but I can feel the fire inside of her as her heart thuds faster. When she opens her eyes, there’s a glisten, like she’s fought off her feelings.

“Companion, slave, your canvas… But not your girlfriend. Never your wife. I can’t agree to that. It’s one thing doing what we’ve been doing… Using each other, having fun. But I’m yours? That’s entirely different.” She tries to pull away, and I firm my grip on her waist and neck.

I seal my lips to hers, her breath hitches, and her fingers clutch the material at my chest. “I only need to keep you a secret for a while longer… It won’t be forever.” Her lips part again, and she looks at me with widened eyes, so full of hope.

“I’ll do it… On two conditions.” I nudge her nose with mine and kiss her again. Slow and soft, then give her just enough space to speak. “I want-I need, marriage… I want Aria if she hasn’t found a family yet. And ideally, more children. And I don’t have much time to wait for that…” With my fingers woven through her hair, I grip and hold her in place while I give her a little more space. She speaks slowly, almost timidly. She doesn’t think I want all of that with her. Little does she know that I’ve been struggling to keep myself off her. If circumstances were different, she’d already be on my arm around town and carrying our child.

“When the time comes, I can give you that.” A small smile comes through, and I’m hit with anxiety as if I’ve run myself into a brick wall. It’s a rare expression that I would love to keep locked up just for my own pleasure. I’ve been the cause of many of her smiles and many of her tears, while I’ve battled with my inner monster to keep away from her. Years of telling myself that she can’t be mine are coming to an end. She can’t not be mine. But the danger that comes with being mine is still there. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t want to lock her away and keep her all to myself. After all, if she disappears, the danger would go away.

“I’ll do it.” She plays with my shirt collar, pulling me from my inner prison.

“You talk as if you had a choice in this.” I lick along her lips, teasing before biting down on the pillowy flesh, “you are mine, V, it wasn’t a question.” She clears her throat, her fingers brushing along the inside of my collar.

“So… Companion is self-explanatory, your canvas.” She blushes, her lips curve, the smile reaching her eyes, and I can’t help the twitch in my lips. “I have an idea… But what about… being your slave?” She doesn’t sound scared, as she should be. Her words come out slow, curious.

“Come to my room tomorrow night, and we will go over everything. For now.” Adjusting myself against the cushions, I guide Violet between my legs. I wrap my fingers around her book and slip it from her lap. She settles in, using my thigh as a pillow. “Let me read to you. Close your eyes and rest.”

Reading to Violet, the crackling of the fire, the warm, vibrant hues radiating from the sunset. I find myself forgetting what the world is really like. Everything is always black. Black with a nauseating taste of putrid meat that I can’t ever escape. But not here, not now. Not when she cuddles into me, her breathing steady and her eyes drifting off to sleep as if I’m her safe place. Little does she know, I’m the last person she should be with if she wants to stay safe, to be out of the danger zone. But in this comfort that only Violet can bring, I think I may never let her leave my side again. A few more pages and a few more minutes of stroking her hair, and she is asleep. In the dim glow from our window torch I can make out the freckles that dot across her face from cheek to cheek. I’ve counted them twice. I should be sleeping, but I can’t look away. Despite my best efforts, I’ve never been able to look away from her. She is my universe, and entire constellations paint her face. I spend hours finding the patterns, naming them, and storing them away in my memory, and getting lost in the tranquility that only her presence can bring. It’s only a few hours before sunrise that I drift off to sleep myself, keeping Violet between my legs, where she belongs.

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