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I could feel the attention of the Hall turning toward the end of the Saltmere table, where everyone was waiting to see what the Stray would do.

They had already seen me cry once. They had watched me break apart in the courtyard, down on my knees on the flagstones, and later that night, sitting on the tower stairs, I had promised myself that I would never let them see me like that again.

So I picked up my spoon.

I lowered it into the stew, brought it to my mouth, and swallowed. Then I took another spoonful, and another after that, forcing myself to keep eating while three hundred people watched and waited for me to give them something.

My face stayed still. My eyes stayed dry.

The only thing I could not control was my hand.

Each time I lowered the spoon, it struck the rim of the bowl with a small, sharp sound. Tink. Tink. Tink. I tightened my grip until my fingers hurt, but the trembling would not stop, and everyone sitting near me could hear it.

Tamsin placed her hand flat on the table beside mine.

Across the Hall, Jax was already on his feet at the Solace table, with two of his friends holding him back by the arms. Silas had not moved at all. He sat on his bench against the far wall with his eyes fixed on me, watching in complete silence.

Just before I finished eating, I looked toward the head of the Fenhall table.

Kaelen was watching me.

For one second, whatever control he had been holding onto slipped. The expression on his face changed, and the grief there was so clear that I could not bear to keep looking at him.

I turned away first.

When I finished, I stood, carried my bowl to the rack with everyone else’s, and walked out of the Great Hall without hurrying. I kept my chin up and my eyes dry as I crossed the courtyard and went through the door of the Lantern Tower.

I made it as far as the fourth step before my knees gave out.

I sat down in the dark and stayed there because I could not make myself stand again.

Silas found me a few minutes later. He must have followed me out of the Hall, but he did not ask what was wrong or tell me to get up. He simply bent down, lifted me from the stone, and carried me the rest of the way to my room, up more than two hundred steps without once setting me down.

When we reached the top, he laid me on the iron bed and sat on the floor beside it with his back against the wall. His hand rested on the edge of the mattress, close enough to mine that I could have reached for it if I wanted to.

For a long time, neither of us said anything.

Eventually, I managed to say, "I think I need to be alone tonight."

Silas nodded. He got to his feet without asking any questions and left the room.

He did not go far.

About an hour later, I opened the door to put the jug outside and found him sitting on the landing with his back against the wall. He had a knife in one hand and a block of pale wood in the other, shaving thin curls from it with the same quiet concentration he had shown during the three nights of Moonfever, when he had stayed outside my door and kept watch.

He looked up when he heard me, but neither of us said anything. After a moment, I closed the door gently, climbed back into bed, and lay staring at the ceiling.

I did not sleep.

Some time later, the door opened without a knock, and Jax came in.

He turned sideways to get through the doorway, one arm held tightly across his ribs, just as he had on the night of the Baths. This time, though, the damage was much worse. His left eye was swollen almost shut and dark with bruising. His lip was split and crusted with dried blood, and there was more of it along his hairline and down the side of his neck. Every movement seemed to hurt. He carried himself carefully, stiff through the shoulders and ribs, but even then he looked at me from the doorway and tried to smile.

"Reina," he said softly. "Don't be cross."

I was off the bed before he finished speaking. I guided him into the only chair in the room, and the fact that he did not make a single joke meanwhile frightened me more than the bruises did.

I lit the lamp, filled the bowl with water, and reached for the salve Silas had left on the washstand. Then I knelt on the floorboards in front of him.