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My tears fell, freezing against my cheeks. “That’s not—that’s not possible.”

“Isn’t it? My soul has existed for a long time, grá. My essence has been in this world far longer than it should have been. My stardust called to your stardust and it kept me here, until you could come and find me.” He smiled, staring out at something I couldn’t see. “What a gift.”

“A gift?” I managed.

This didn’t feel like a gift right now. It felt like someone was ripping my vital organs out one by one.

“What else could it be? To have known you—to have loved you. I would have waited far longer, now knowing what I know. There would be no time that would ever be too long if it meant you were waiting for me at the end.”

He reached for me, hand skimming right through mine.

I bit back my sob.

Last night was it.

The last touch, the last kiss, I’d fallen asleep on him without even meaning to and now—now it was gone, slipping away from me faster than I could process. My tears fell in earnest now, blurring the shape of him.

“This is my last sunrise, Avery. Will you watch it with me?”

This was what I had wanted, wasn’t it? To help him move on, to find peace, to reunite with his family? I hadn’t realized, at the time, just how much it would cost me. His vigil was up, but mine had only just begun. I would carry the echoes of him with me everywhere I went after this.

I would turn toward a body that would no longer be beside my own.

I would want to laugh or share a joke with him that would never land.

Read him a bit of my book—god, any book—just to see him turn that beautiful shade of pink.

I saw all the empty spots in my life that were meant to fit him and I mourned them. Mourned every memory we would never get to make. Every stormy night he wouldn’t be pressed beside me.

“Would you do something for me?” he asked, settling in the grass.

In the distance, the sky began to lighten.

I sat beside him, knee going right through his. The sight of it brought bile to the back of my throat.

“Anything,” I whispered. “You know that.”

He grinned, that same boyish smile he’d first given me. Oh, god. I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t lose him—couldn’t say goodbye to him. Not now. Not after everything.

“Good, because what I’m about to ask of you is important.” I waited expectantly for him to continue. “I need you to make me a few promises.”

“All right,” I said slowly.

“The first is that you’ll keep writing. Finish the book for me, will you? Finish ten of them. Thirty. Whatever it is you have inside you, promise me you’ll keep writing.”

I mopped at my face. “Okay.”

“No, grá. I need your vow. Your promise.”

I could barely form the words. It took me three tries to get them out. “I promise.”

“Good. I want—I want you to write about us one day, if you can. Give us the ending we should have had.”

I gnashed my teeth together so hard I thought I felt one crack. I was shaking, trembling, fingers twisted into the thistles by my legs.

“I promise.”

He closed his eyes, head tipped back to the rising sun. “I need you to promise me that you won’t hide yourself away again. Fall in love—with yourself, with the world, with all the people that deserve you.”