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‘Please.’ He had no idea if the words came from his mouth or if they were just in his head but he tensed when Ellie pulled away. Regret surged through him. He’d moved too fast.

I shouldn’t have kissed her.

Kane’s breath caught in his throat as Ellie pulled her dress over her head. He shivered as she reached out and slipped her fingers beneath the bottom of his shirt. Her lips curved in a smile as her hands slid up over his chest. She softly traced his skin, holding his gaze steadily with those pale blue eyes.

He grabbed both of her hands and rolled over onto his side, and then reefed his own shirt off before he pulled her close. Skin on skin, face to face, their bodies pressed close together. A shudder ran through Kane’s body and he groaned and then lowered his mouth to hers again. This time the kiss was not gentle, and he took pleasure in the way she responded to his kiss, to his touch.

‘Ellie?’ He lifted his head and looked at her.

‘Yes.’ The single word sent a spark of healing joy rushing through him.

Chapter 23

8.00 am Friday

Harbourside Motel, Darwin

Ellie lay in the bed, listening to the shower run in the ensuite bathroom. She stretched, feeling the unfamiliar tingling and pleasant ache deep in her body. Being with Kane this morning had been different to the first night they’d slept together. As well as the physical pleasure given and taken, this time there had been an emotional connection. It was a tentative beginning that Ellie didn’t want to resist anymore. A new and unspoken level of trust had been reached.

But was she ready for it? She rolled over and stared at the ceiling as the shower switched off. She’d long vowed to be independent. If she let herself fall for him, could she trust Kane not to leave her?

Kane wandered out from the bathroom, droplets of water caught in the smattering of hair on his bare chest. A ripple of pleasure whipped down Ellie’s skin and settled in her lower belly. The white motel towel barely made it around his hips.

He sat on the bed and smiled down at her. ‘Okay?’

Ellie nodded but he must have seen the expression that flitted across her face.

‘I want you to know that what we’ve shared is very special for me. I haven’t been close to anyone for a very long time.’ He held his head proud as he stared at her; aquiline nose, his forehead wide and high. A rush of need raced through Ellie.

She pushed herself up in the bed and pulled the sheet up over her bare breasts as she spoke softly. ‘I’m pleased I could be here for you.’

‘Don’t sell yourself short, Ellie. You pushed my buttons since the first minute you strode across that hangar and tried to boss me around.’ His lips tilted in a boyish grin and the crinkles beside his eyes deepened. But his eyes were still full of sadness; she knew that it was more than the death of his mother that he carried with him.

Kane reached down and took one of her hands. Ellie hadn’t realised that she’d been playing with the frayed edge of the cotton sheet.

‘I know we haven’t got much time this morning but I want you to know why I’m the way I am. Why I can be so bloody moody.’

‘It’s okay.’ She shook her head. ‘You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’m not the easiest person to get on with at the best of times either.’

He ignored her words. ‘I know Mum told you I was a hero. She was proud of me.’ His voice was bitter. ‘But she had nothing to be proud of.’

Kane looked down at their hands still joined together on the white sheet, and then his attention moved back up to her face.

‘My entire crew died and it was my fault.’ His voice was flat and expressionless. ‘Ellie, I made one simple error of judgement. I flew in too close to the insurgents and we got shot up. I crashed my bird. One of my crew . . . Hawk.’ His voice shook for the first time. ‘You remind me of her.’

Ellie listened as he told her about the crash. The death of his crew, and the hopelessness that filled him as he’d trudged through the desert carrying the woman, knowing she was dead, but not being able to leave her at the crash site.

‘The official line was that it was a mechanical fault but it was my fault, I listened to the guys and I flew too close. The first round shattered the cockpit and then –’

Ellie lifted her hand and cupped his cheek. His eyes were flat and his mouth was set in a straight line. All she wanted to do was move his thoughts away from where they were. The haunted expression in his eyes chilled her to the depths of her soul.

‘You’ve had a lot to deal with.’

‘I can’t seem to let go. The day you took me to that billabong, I relived the whole fucking crash. It’s like being there all over again. Flying back to Darwin was hell.’ He put his hand over hers on his cheek. ‘And then when I went up with you that first day, I thought I was going to lose it.’

‘You need to see someone to work through it.’

Immediately Ellie sensed his withdrawal and regretted her words. It wasn’t up to her to tell him what to do. ‘Just one step at a time.’ She smoothed her hand over his short hair and he relaxed against her again. ‘Dealing with the grief for your mum is the most important thing for now.’