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“I’m happy for you. You said something about a job?”

“You want easy or hard? Someone bought a haunted doll at an antique road show in Kansas again.”

“Pass. I’m not sure what’s up with Kansas and haunted dolls, but the governor personally banned me from the entire state. I’m not dealing with creepy dolls and the government.”

“I got a ghost infested house in Boston. It’s been sitting empty, but some house flippers bought it. Caveat: they want to film the cleansing and use the footage to make money.”

“Gross. Pass.”

“Some werewolves want help getting their pup back from their human neighbor. Their kid thinks it’s a German Shepherd puppy, and the parents said she could keep it.”

“Maybe. I could be down for a little B and E. If the pup can shift into their wolf, why don’t they shift back and go home? Why don’t they knock on the door and demand their pup back?”

“Dunno. On second thought, they are being rather shifty when asked questions. They want people to take the job without asking them. Scratch that one. There’s another, but you can’t do it alone, and you aren’t very good at working with others.”

“I’m a fucking delight as long as they aren’t priests or men who think having a dick means they are better at this than me. I nearly got possessed and turned into a werewolf because of toxic masculinity. What’s the job?”

I was never alone on jobs. Pan was always with me, and now that Delilah had been training him, he was way more effective than any Flame member. I would never neuter him, but when the pesky priests crashed my jobs, he couldn’t be him.

The priests thought all supernaturals were evil. They’d try to hurt him. Their methods were completely different from ours, and I didn’t have access to their lore. Everything I read from Flame lore was that they were unkillable. The Venatio Daemonum might know a way.

They were annoying, but I didn’t kill humans.

“A group of demons possessed some tourists at Jazz Fest and now they are causing trouble.”

“We sure it’s not just drunk tourists who think what happens in New Orleans stays in New Orleans?”

Because sometimes, it wasn’t demons. It was just a human who acted like one when you added street drinking.

“There were some bullets exchanged when they tried to brawl with the cops.”

Fuck. Which meant I’d need to get them medical help after I sent the demons back to Hell. And send Father Caleb and his merry band of deathly hot priests away if they crashed this again. Their exorcisms were much harder on the human the demon was occupying than my methods. They died sometimes. If the vessel was injured, it was almost a guarantee it couldn’t handle the demon fighting to stay.

“Send me the address.”

My Uncle Rainer had been one of the best before he got hurt. He taught me everything I knew. I wasn’t dumb. I wouldn’t take on a small legion of demons alone.

I had Pan.

Itook my top off as soon as I got home. My bra followed. It was just me and Pan, and Pan was a Hellhound. He didn’t care about tits and bras were torture devices. They were uncomfortable, but so was chasing monsters without one. Whoever thought up that design flaw was on my shit list.

Rainer trained me well. He was totally fine with me just bringing Pan on jobs now that he was retired and Pan knew how to work his magic. Just don’t be stupid and go in blind. I needed to know how many I was dealing with and the lay of the place.

I had a feeling I was dealing with young idiot demons on their first ride out of Hell. Tourists at Jazz Fest and squatting in an Airbnb? That was rookie stuff. Of course, the owner was going to call the cops to kick them out if they didn’t pay. And then they brawled with the cops.

Most demons with consent issues tried to lay low, so they were harder to catch. And they didn’t hole up in places I could just go to a website and see the inside. I could ferret out all the entrances, exits, and hiding places just from the listing.

I was a little insulted by how dumb these demons were.

Pan was lying next to me with his head on my thigh where he could read my screen and I could stroke his head. He didn’t remember anything about Hell, and the only demons he knew were the ones he met with me. Some were friends, and some ended up being foes.

“They sound young and stupid.”

“I was young and stupid once too. I’m probably still dumb, but at least I’m pretty.”

“You giving them the mom lecture and sending them back?”

I hated doing that, but sometimes, it was necessary. I got to some of these jobs and realized I was dealing with a stupid kid. I didn’t know about other members of the Flame, but Rainer always gave the kids a second chance. They got a lecture about how anyone else would just end them, but he was giving them a chance to do better.