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I don’t want to believe them. “No.”
“Yes, I did it,” they say, owning the betrayal. “At first, I thought I was doing a good thing, stealing them back from the Mer-King, but I regretted my involvement the moment she unleashed the plague wraith on Crossbill Haven.”
“So why didn’t you stop?” I seethe, hot tears flowing. “Obviously you handed over the other three.”
“I found out what happens to the people you care about when you break a deal with Cosette.” Their jaw tightens, nearly imperceptibly. “So yes, I hunted down the other rune marks, and I stayed far away from anyone who meant something to me. When I gave her the final one last year, she broke my curse, freeing me from our forced bond.”
“Then how do you still sense me?”
“I don’t know.” My pendant glows, the essence slipping through the glass and melting into Zephyr’s aura as it shimmers around them. “It’s like I’ve held you in my aether for so long, you’ve become a part of it.”
“This whole year you’ve been free from my father’s curse, but you keep appearing,” I realize aloud. “Why are you still here?”
“Just because I can’t be forced to show up doesn’t mean I don’t feel you constantly,” they explain. “Sometimes I can’t help responding.”
“You should have told me.”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry.” There’s a rough edge to their apology, as if it physically pains them. “I didn’t know how to tell you, and by the time the curse was broken, I was in too deep. I had to see you fulfill your dream.”
“That dream is broken.” I drop my knife and tug my necklace up to my chin. It won’t budge any further; it never has. The metal cord is charmed to get stuck whenever I try to pull it off over my head. “Just leave, damn it.”
I let go of the vial, and they wrap their fingers around my wrist, forming a lazy grip. “That’s not happening.”
“I hate you.” I don’t even think I mean it, but it feels good to say it.
I’m so sick of lies and secrets.
“Good. You should.” Their hold on my wrist tightens a little bit. Firm, but still gentle. “But you have no idea what kind of poison I’d have to swallow to keep myself from going mad if I let you fall into Cosette’s trap. I’m not going anywhere until this is finished.”
I’m at war with myself, my betrayed heart fighting with the sense of security I feel in their presence.
Their thumb strokes over my pulse point, the lightest touch from such an imposing being. I know they can feel how my heartbeat is racing for them, half-intrigued and half-angry.
Heat uncoils from my belly and slips down between my legs.
“Cordelia,” they caution as my hips sway slightly.
“Ugh. I forgot you can feel everything.” I yank my arm back, but their grip is solid. There’s no breaking it.
“This bond was forced on you. You never need to be ashamed of what you’re feeling.” Their stance is still relaxed. They have me, and they’re not even trying. “Not with me.”
“I’m not ashamed,” I start, but I am. A heavy ache builds in my core, and they know it’s all for them.
They lean down and murmur against my hair, “You think I don’t feel it too?”
“I don’t know.” I turn my face, and their lips are right above mine. “Do you?”
Their aura is welcoming. I want to lean into it and feel it all around me like I do when they’re bodiless.
Several breaths pass between us before they answer. “Yes.”
I tilt my chin until our lips are almost touching, inviting them to make the next move.
They shake their head. “We can’t.”
“Why not?” I ask even though I know there are at least ten reasons why kissing them is forbidden. For starters, they’re my father's enemy, our relationship’s dynamic is questionable, and I’m engaged to be married.
“Because right now you hate me, and I can’t stand the thought of you hating yourself in the morning.” It’s not the reasoning I’m expecting from them.