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“I am having some kind of déjà vu. Have you been watching The First Wives Club or something?”

Hera started. “Why is this relevant? I happen to enjoy that movie.”

Sabine took a deep breath. “I knew this was all a touch eerily familiar in tone. The vibes, if you know what I mean.”

Hera just glared at her and Sabine’s shoulders drooped.

“Just to be clear, the match you’re proposing for Zeus needs to be a deliberately bad one? You know that’s not my purpose.”

Hera tsked. The bears almost fell to the floor. A cue was dropped. Someone stumbled in their haste to pick it up.

“You can’t still be after that Queen of the Perfect Match crown, Goddard. You must have a dozen of them by now. What are you using them for, doorstops?”

Sabine’s smile was patient. Hera allowed it.

“I’m just seeking clear instructions. And I have nineteen crowns. But who’s counting?” The Cupid took a deep breath and finally reached for the tumbler, taking a long swig.

“I promised Aphrodite that I’d made my final match when I fired my last arrow… And, last I checked, that arrow did not… Exactly strike correctly.”

Hera felt that Sabine was choosing her words too carefully, for an unknown reason. The Perfect Match between Erato and Demeter had been sealed months ago in Vegas.

Erato and Demeter were a resounding success, burning up every sheet and flat surface no matter where they went. The Cupid’s calculation and foresight, where they were concerned, had worked. Why be cagey now?

Hera wanted to ask her exactly what match she was talking about, but Sabine interrupted with a follow-up question.

“Let me rephrase this entire premise. You want Zeus to fall. You don’t actually care who he falls for. What is the purpose of whatever it is you’re trying to set up?”

Hera sat very still, her jaw muscles tight. She chose to remain quiet. The bear chorus behind her intoned an excited “Ooooohhhhh…” She glared at their timing, and they fell silent.

Finally, she gave Sabine a direct stare and lifted an eyebrow. The Cupid sighed.

“Are you actually ordering me?”

Well, if she put it that way. Hera allowed herself to smile. Their history was old. Full of trades. Full of exchanges.

What was one more?

“I am requesting.” She kept looking at Sabine. “I don’t care about your promises to Aphrodite. Your oath was broken before. Don’t be surprised that I know. You retired, came back, retired again. You’ve had more farewell tours than Cher. Aren’t you tired of this back and forth, Goddard?”

“Oh, I am. If only you Gods would leave me alone already. Even Zeus asked⁠—”

Sabine closed her mouth abruptly.

Oh, this was too good to be true…

Hera knew her smile was probably a touch terrifying. “Zeus asked? Well, then. Let’s all do what the Mighty Zeus asks. The poor dear wants love. So give it to him. Really, am I asking all that much?”

Sabine grimaced again, then, resigned, reached for the alcohol.

“Honestly, yes and no. I mean, of all the goddesses you’d know best, making Zeus fall for literally anyone, or anything for that matter, is an absolutely nothing job. He’s a horndog with no morals nor regard for anything but his dick⁠—”

Sabine closed her mouth, clearly seeing the color drain from Hera’s face. The bears snickered in the corner. Hera felt slightly nauseous. Still, this was progress. She no longer felt pain and rage when presented with her ex-husband’s philandering ways.

Hera lifted her chin.

“Then what seems to be the holdup, Cupid?”

Sabine sighed deeply. Then sighed again.