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He moves back another half-step, wrapping both hands around the coffee cup, his eyes not quite meeting mine.
I don’t understand.
I’ve been thinking about this moment for four days. How his face would light up, then he’d lean into me, whisper, “You’re back,” against my mouth, and I’d say, “Yeah, and I’m not going anywhere.”
What I did not imagine was Finn standing three feet away with his eyes on the ground.
“Finn.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just really overwhelmed today. I’ve got a million things to—”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
“I haven’t slept, Fox. That’s all it is. I’ve been running on caffeine and adrenaline for a week, and everyone in this town needs a piece of me, and it’s opening day, and I just—” He stops, takes a breath like he’s resetting. “It’s a lot. That’s all. Please ignore me.”
“I don’t want to ignore you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Can we just…? I just need to get through today.”
Something in my chest twists.
“Yeah,” I say. “Of course. Whatever you need.”
“Thank you. How was the flight?”
He asks it like it’s a peace offering, so I take it.
“It was fine. The long drive from Burlington to here was worse. I just wanted to get here.”
He nods, and we stand for another second. He’s still not fully meeting my eyes.
Then Meredith’s voice comes over the field somewhere behind us. “Griffin? Where the hell are you? We’ve got a tree situation.”
Finn straightens like a soldier being called to attention. “Coming.”
He looks at me finally, and the thing twisting in my gut gets worse because in ten years of observing Finn’s moods, there have been very few times I’ve been unable to see through him. Today is one of those occasions.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” he says.
“Yeah.”
“You want to come by tonight?”
“Do you want me to?”
He hesitates for a beat. “Yeah. Yeah, come by.”
“Okay.”
He gives me a small smile, and then he’s gone, striding across the field toward Meredith with the tablet already back in his hand.
I stand behind the vendor stall for a moment longer, trying to make sense of what just happened.
He kissed me back, but he also stepped away.
