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I freeze as his words penetrate. “Older?”
“Well, older than your usual type, but not as old as me, so I doubt it’s mommy issues.”
I swallow, my palms sweating. There is only one woman I slept with recently who was older than the rest.
“You get a name?” My voice sounds odd even to my own ears.
“Yeah. Emma.”
“Fuck.”
“So, I’m guessing she isn’t just another groupie looking to tie herself to you by any means necessary?”
“Honestly, I’d say given her history, she’s about as happy about this as I am.” Except the thought of having a baby with Emma isn’t as terrifying as I thought it would be.
“Hate to be the bearer of bad news, son, but you’ll have your work cut out for you. First Tash and then me? I wouldn’t be surprised if she stops looking for you altogether.”
“Lucky for me then. I don’t need her to find me. I know how to find her.” I shake my head, fighting the urge to get up and leave, but there is something else I need to deal with first. “We need to talk about Tash.”
He groans. “What about her?”
“Where do you want me to start?”
“Fuck, I’m going to regret this. Start from the beginning.”
11
Emma
Icrack my eyes open when I hear thundering on the door, but I don’t have the energy to lift my head.
The sickness did not get better like I hoped, not even a little bit. In fact, it got so bad that I’ve been forced to take sick leave from work, which sucks because it means no tips. I’m just lucky they’re paying me sick pay at all. I know this can’t be normal. I’m losing weight now instead of gaining it, and the jeans that I couldn’t button up before are loose on me.
The thundering doesn’t stop, making my head pound in tandem with the sound. If I get up, I’m going to puke, and I can’t do it anymore.
I jolt when the wooden door is splintered and feel a frisson of fear when I realize it’s been kicked in. I still can’t find the energy to get up and run, let alone fight back. What kind of mother will I be when I don’t even have the strength to protect my baby?
“Jesus fuck!” A voice says from beside me, but I can barely crack my eyes open to see who it belongs to.
“Emma? Emma, wake up for me. Did you take something?”
I swim through the fog, trying to latch onto the panic-laced voice. “Lick?” I whisper through my cracked lips.
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m gonna call an ambulance. What have you taken, honey?”
I shake my head, confused. “Taken?”
“Drugs. What drugs are you on?”
I frown, which is a bad idea because it hurts, but then everything hurts. Even my hair hurts, which is crazy. “No drugs. Sick.” I manage to get out as tears prick my eyes.
He smooths a hand over my greasy hair, making me cringe. “Alright, babe, we’ll get you fixed up.”
“Okay,” I whisper, unable to say anything else. I must drift off, because when I come back, there are more people in my flat.
I hear the strange voices before cool hands touch my face. “Emma? Can you hear me? My name’s Claire and I’m a paramedic. We’re going to get on the gurney and go down to the ambulance. We’ll be as gentle as we can.”
“Okay.”
