Page 11

N: but still

Me: that's huge

Me: that's actually huge, nico

N: yeah

There's a pause. The dots come and go. I lie there and look at the ceiling where the water stain is shaped like Wisconsin.

N: ok real question

N: is dane being a dick

I look at that until the screen dims.

There's the answer that's true. He's making me carry his bag through the hallway like a pack mule. He put me at a card table. He hasn't said ten words to me that weren't an order. Every morning at six he stands in front of that net and stops everything I have, and he doesn't even look at me like a person. He looks at me like a shot.

And there's the thing Nico would do if I said it. He'd call him. He'd call him tonight. Dane would find out we talk, he'd find out why, and every single thing I've built would come down.

Me: nah he's fine

Me: he's a goalie. they're all weird

Me: he barely talks to me honestly

N: that's not a no

Me: it's a "he's fine"

N: theo

Me: nico

N: if he's being a dick I can talk to him

N: I WANT to talk to him. it's been like 6 months of me not saying anything and it's making me crazy

N: he deserves to know

I sit up. The radiator clanks. I hit it with my shoe and it settles.

Me: no

Me: please don't

Me: I'm serious

N: why

I type it out. I look at it. It's the truest thing I've said to anybody since the day I walked out of Marrack's office.

Me: because if he hates me, let him

Me: I earned it

The dots come up. They go away. They come up again and stay up.

N: you didn't earn a card table