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I pushed on with the words, my tongue and my heart taking the lead together. “I’ve been so alone. Everything was so empty, so cold. Until you.” The back of my hand connected with his. “Everything changed. You got into my head, my heart, my body. Turned me upside down and inside out.” I wiped at my eyes with my free hand, his fingers slipping off my wrist. “You’re my constant. You’re always there. You keep me safe. You…you did kill me once, but I got over it.”
He released a long sigh. “I will forever be sorry.”
“And I’m sorry, too. For all the bad shit I did. For Layla, for…for…” Oh, man. I was one big mess.
“It’s alright, Paris,” he whispered.
A kerfuffle from upstairs banged and crashed and interrupted our moment. But Silvanus needed me down here. Needed to know I would never willingly throw myself into the arms of another. Even though we weren’t together, dirt clung to my soul. Dirt I had to wash clean.
I traced the back of my hand across his cheek. “You’re everything to me. I’m obsessed, I’m smitten, I’m hot for you. And I’m…” Hesitant, unsure, the voice of Caer rose inside me.
“Don’t do it, precious one.” An emotionless warning. A sensible alarm to stop me before I made a huge mistake.
But I was falling, falling, falling. Pitched off the edge, unable to stop myself. So worn down by my own anguish, so torn up by the actions of the world around me. I needed some joy, to step into the light for a bit.
“I’m so tired,” I continued. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep this stuff locked up.” Tears, warnings in my head, my resistance failing.
“Paris…” the king breathed. “You shoul—”
“I love you.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Silvanus
His declaration was sweeter and more glorious than any song. With those three words, everything was suddenly drenched in full color, even here in the darkness. In all my years of living, I’d never experienced such a rush of joy. Not out there in the forests of Selene Haven where I felt the most free, and certainly not with my ex golden-haired lover.
This was everything and more. A gift to transcend all other gifts. His hand remained on my cheek, his terrified breaths wafting across my face. The pain rioting throughout my body took a pause, all my senses focused on him, synced into the promise of what could be and the darkness that would follow.
Paris Raine had just told me he loved me. And in doing so, he’d doomed me and my people.
Everything stilled. My eyes took in the lines of his face, the glow of his cornflower-blue eyes, the whole of him. Right there, having given me his heart.
Aidan’s magic left me, giving me back the use of my limbs. But the force of Paris’s confession laid heavy.
“I love you,” he whispered again, his tone as delicious as the honeyed scent of his blood.
I reached for him, some of that blood trickling down his cheek from a wound to join his tears. “I love you, Paris. I’m so in love with you.” I smoothed my thumb through the blood and tears.
He nuzzled against my touch, shuddering, this happiness so radiant I thought it might be healing me. Removing my pain before he delivered the killing blow.
“What happens now?” he wondered.
His silver hair shone like metal in the dim light. I didn’t have an answer for him, my body was heavy, yet light with elation. Torn between running for my life and staying here to enjoy him before he ended me.
Being love’s fool once again.
In a perfect world, I would push him off and tear through the ground, burrow deep, claw my way to safety.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to say it out loud.”
“It’s alright.” I caught his tears with my thumb, my palm covering his tiny wound.
His gentle sigh lifted my lips into a smile.
“It’s not,” he said. “I fell for it. I let him get to me. Aidan. He made this happen. He knew exactly how to force my hand with this almost-kissing-Declan thing because he always fucking knows. Because he’s always there, one step ahead. And I’m so sorry. I’ve completely fucked this up. I tried. I really tried. But I want you so much. I want to let go of everything from the past, throw it in the fire, and just give myself to you.” He shivered. “How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to be anything other than your killer when I want to be the love of your life? I want to be your destiny without the death part.”
He was so utterly divine. So vulnerable, so incredible. Every word was a sweet note, a life-affirming sound. “Paris…”