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Wow. What a kick in the metaphysical bollocks. As if to tell me to behave myself around this guy. Pfft. For starters, no. That was nothing more than appreciating his aesthetics. And second, why did I feel like I was hurting the vampire king by even being here with the werewolf?

He is my constant.

I knew why. I was tired, I was frightened, and trauma vibrated through my bones. I needed sleep and a reset, and then everything would be better in a few hours.

Without any more words, Declan took me upstairs past the ridiculous sea of paintings, depositing me inside a room of peach décor and more landscapes on canvas. Oh, and pine, pine, and more pine.

“Bathroom is opposite,” he said, holding the door handle. “Shout if you need me. I’ll wake you if I need you.”

“Okay. Thanks.” I sat on the firm bed, nose wrinkling when that disturbed the dust.

He gave me a look I didn’t understand, and left me alone, closing the door lightly behind him.

I swung my legs up onto the bed and collapsed onto the firm pillow. Eyelids heavy, a multitude of yawns escaping my mouth, it didn’t take me long to fall asleep.

But I didn’t sleep for long. Nightmares plagued me, replaying the scenes with Silvanus back in the city. But they went one step further, showing me his body collapsing into bone dust, and me screaming on my knees as Aidan howled with laughter.

I woke up sweaty, sobbing for the dream loss. I ached everywhere, desperate for him to be here with me.

My heart thumped in my ears, my skin itching for his touch. Like that time I needed to just sleep beside him, to feel the safety of him.

Where was he? When could I see him again? Never?

Never is smart.

You’re his doom.

I sat up, furious and sad, wiping at my tears, hands trembling. The guilt over looking at Declan stabbed at me, making me feel less than dirt.

I need you.

“I can’t do this,” I mumbled.

Why did there have to be this complication? Why did there have to be so much fucking angst and doubt? This shit was cruel. So, so cruel.

I need you.

You’re my constant.

I whimpered. I willed myself to pass out, keeping my mouth shut. If I could just sleep this off, it would all be okay.

Right?

Chapter Seventeen

Silvanus

The names of the dead registered inside the Heart of All as I came to inside a dark room. More voids to never be filled, lost to me under Aidan’s rot.

Oreflame City. The dead. The carnage. The blame placed squarely on my head.

What now, that President Walker was dead?

This world has been turned upside down.

Slowly, I began to sit up, the hot tingle of daylight lurking just beyond the darkness.

I’d been reckless, but I wasn’t about to sit here and admonish myself like I always did. What would be the point? Calling myself a failure felt too exhausting now. This only galvanized my determination to beat Aidan. Hopefully to a pulp.