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Silvanus appeared and the dagger vanished, a vile screaming in my head. I cried out, grabbing at the table, struggling against the onslaught of sound.

Because it’s not ready to kill him yet. Not until those words spill out of my mouth.

“It’s alright.” Silvanus’s hands were on me again. Resting on my legs, generating sweet, sweet heat against my skin. “Paris, I’m⁠—”

No. Too close. Too dangerous.

I shot up with a sudden burst of energy, the move drawing every frustration out of me. It burned worse than the smoke inhalation, hotter than any fire. Tears leaked down my face, anguish practically kicking me in the balls.

I couldn’t stand it.

I couldn’t stand any more of this fucking bullshit and this torment and the kernel of truth not letting me breathe for a fucking minute, there to remind me of what couldn’t be, of what shouldn’t be.

I threw my arms around the vampire king, burying my face into the crook of his neck. Pressing myself against his solidity, holding tightly to him as if he were a life raft.

“Please,” I whimpered. “Please. Please help me because I can’t…” I couldn’t finish, breath catching again. Swirl after swirl of memory of the intimate moments we’d shared colliding, spinning, crashing into my shore.

His muscular arms wrapped themselves around my slender body. And I sobbed endlessly, flooded with relief and self-loathing. Because I wanted this vampire king to hold me and make everything better. He was safety and he was the light when he shouldn’t be the light. He was the darkness. He was the man who haunted me, the target for all of my anger, all of my hurt, all of my purpose.

And I hated myself for wanting him.

I can’t love you…

But I also hated the denial.

You’re keeping him safe.

Is that what it was, huh? Then why the hell was I so close to him, a few words hanging between his life and death. If I said them out loud, goodbye vampires, and goodbye to me.

He stroked my back, his cheek pressed against the side of my head.

“I was coming to get you,” he whispered. “I knew you were in trouble and I couldn’t stand it.”

I can’t stand that I want you.

Sniffling, I stayed where I was. Still coughing but not as aggressively. My body and the blood of the other races inside me worked together to fortify me against these sorts of things. The blood of a human, a human mage, a mer, and a werewolf all gave me a leg up in the arena, so to speak.

Awesome constitution for the win.

A shame they didn’t do anything to protect me from emotional breakdowns.

“I have to get out of here.” Marie’s voice cut through my inner noise.

The components of the curse. We were all here, minus the dead body.

“He’s the one who got killed in the frostbrood tunnel,” I spoke against Silvanus’s skin.

“Pardon?” he whispered back.

In a nutshell, the guy from my vision blew the dust in my face before we both fell into a sinkhole. Oreflame was an old mining city built on miles of abandoned shafts. Sometimes, things did collapse, just like on that day. We’d both ended up in an icy tunnel and ran for our lives from frostbrood. Both of us were killed, but because of the curse I came back to life on the frozen surface of the Albion River frostbrood nest.

Cursed. Doomed to kill my one true love.

I lifted my head and relayed this to Silvanus quickly, watching the details sink in by way of each flicker in his ruby eyes.

“And then I met the mermaid over there,” I added at the end, breathless from spewing the info.

His lips twitched, the rest of him unmoving. This was the first time he heard any of this. He knew what the crystal dagger was called, but not these details. We hadn’t got the chance to speak, what with me being Aidan’s plaything and him being trapped inside ice.