Page 35

“I’m still too scared to look in the rearview when I’m driving alone at night,” I told him sheepishly.

He cracked up, a bit more of the sadness and tension leaving his face as he grinned at me. “You’re so cute.”

I flushed, looking down at our linked hands. My thumb rubbed a slow circle over Elliot’s pale skin. So this was why he was so pale, and slightly cool to the touch. He was a ghoul. Not human.

That was gnarly.

As if he knew the direction of my thoughts, Elliot cleared his throat and gently disentangled our hands.

“Thank you for being so chill about this,” he said awkwardly. “I, um, I totally understand if you don’t wanna keep… seeing me. In that way.”

I could tell he was trying to keep his tone somewhat light. Pressure-free. I could also tell how much it’d hurt him to say it, which just further cemented the answer I’d already been about to give him.

“What?” My brow furrowed. “Why would I not want to?”

He snorted and shook his head, gazing at me with incredulous affection. “God, Ricky, you’re just… so sweet.”

I flushed with pleasure, then defiantly grabbed his hand again and squeezed it tight. “None of this changes how I feel about you.”

His shoulders hunched vulnerably, and his voice was uncharacteristically timid, almost needy, when he asked, “It doesn’t?”

“No. So you’re not a… human person. You’re still a person. A really”—I blushed and licked my lips self-consciously—“really awesome person. An amazing person. The best person I’ve ever met.”

His mouth trembled a little. “Ricky…”

“So you have to eat, um, certain things to survive. That’s not your fault. Blaming you for it would be like… blaming a bear or a mountain lion for the same thing.”

His shoulders sagged. His mouth trembled harder before he seemed to work hard to temper his emotions. He brought my hand to his face and pressed my palm to his cheek, glistening eyes sliding shut as he mumbled, “Thank you.”

I stroked his sharp cheekbone with my thumb and croaked, “I like you so much, Elliot. I feel like I can just… be myself with you. I’ve never had that before. But you’re also…”

When I trailed off, he smiled and turned his cheek to nuzzle my palm, pressing a soft kiss to it. “Yeah?”

“You’re like… You’re just… The way I feel about you is so much.”

He nodded, throat bobbing convulsively. “Me too. It’s the same for me, Ricky.”

“You’re the hottest guy I’ve ever seen,” I blurted, face flaming red. “But it’s not even that. You’re funny and amazing and I love talking to you. I love being with you.”

He let out a shuddering breath and nodded, his smooth cheek rubbing against my palm with the movement. He didn’t seem able to speak right now, so I carried on.

“You make me feel real.”

A choked sound left him as his eyes slammed shut and he turned his face into my palm, as if he was trying to hide it. “Fuck, Ricky.”

“And your apartment’s really clean. And nice.”

That surprised him enough that his eyes popped back open and he blinked at me. Then he snorted with an uncharacteristically shy smile, long fingers trailing down my forearm as he nuzzled my inner wrist. I shivered from the touch, chest aching with the urge to kiss him.

“I don’t care about anything else,” I told him hoarsely. “I mean, I have, like, a million questions, but I know none of the answers will change how I feel about you.”

He shuddered, clutching my arm tighter to draw me into a hug, pressing his lips to my neck. “God, Ricky.”

I rubbed my nose in his hair, drawing in a deep breath. “Is that why you smell so good? Is it a ghoul thing?”

He chuckled shakily, kissing my neck again. “The sweet smell? Yeah, it’s a ghoul thing.”

Drawing back, I told him with an embarrassed grin, “You smell like cherry pie.”