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Which I wasn’t.

I looked at the time again. 8.02 p.m.

He seemed like the type to turn up to something precisely on time, so he probably wasn’t coming.

I’d give it five minutes.

Maybe ten.

By 8.12 p.m., I was pacing the room and shaking my hands out restlessly. I’d give it three more minutes, and then I was leaving. I wasn’t just going to fucking wait around here all night for him.

At 8.23 p.m., I accepted that he wasn’t coming. Which was fine. I didn’t care. This was something he’d asked for, not me. If he’d changed his mind, that was fucking fine.

Grinding my teeth, I turned and strode to the nightstand to snatch up the lube—it was a new bottle and everything—then over to the dresser to get my stuff. My mood was suddenly very black, which was probably just irritation from wasting half an hour with my thumb up my ass.

Maybe I’ll go to a bar and pick someone up, I thought viciously as I shoved my phone into my pocket. Fuck it, maybe I’ll just go stick my dick through the glory hole at Gargy’s. Keep it simple.

As I was snatching up both sets of keys, a knock at the door made me freeze.

He was here.

In an instant, nerves flooded my body.

Wetting my lips, I slowly put the keys back down. My heart was pounding as I turned toward the door, and I found myself smoothing down my plain black sweater as I started walking toward it, even though I shouldn’t have cared what I looked like.

Keep it impersonal, I told myself, ignoring the way my palms were suddenly sweating. It’s just fucking. He’s not here for anything else, and neither are you. We do this once and never again.

I swallowed and reached for the door handle.

So make the most of it, the voice in my head whispered as I opened the door.

Chapter Twenty-One

Crossbody Finds Heaven

Crossbody

The steering wheel creaked under my hands as I clutched it tight, still sitting in my car and staring at the door of room 15 at the Elfknot Motel.

I’d never been here before—obviously—and it looked… well, like the kind of place that someone stayed at to secretly have sex with the co-worker they despised.

I’d arrived at precisely 7.59 p.m., but I hadn’t moved after parking beside Vince’s car. I knew he was in there. Waiting.

Waiting to fuck me.

My stomach bottomed out as I glanced at the time on the dash again. 8.19 p.m.

He would probably leave soon if I didn’t find my courage and actually get out of my car. I was surprised he’d waited this long, honestly. But I knew, if I could bring myself to go and knock on that door, he’d be annoyed by my tardiness.

I shifted anxiously in my seat, and breathless anticipation cut through the nerves teeming in my stomach when the slickness between my cheeks reminded me of what I’d done before coming here. I’d followed the order in the text he’d sent this morning. After a thorough shower, I’d rested a foot on the edge of the tub and stretched my hole with one, then two, then three fingers, shivering with anticipation the entire time.

But now I couldn’t bring myself to move. I was horribly nervous and excited all at once. I was mortified by what I’d done last night while drunk—calling him and touching myself while he listened. While he said those things to me.

And I’d begged him. Begged him to fuck me. Which was why he was here.

Exactly, the voice in my head whispered. He’s here. Which means he wants to fuck you too. And this is your only chance.

He’d been very clear about that in his text. This was a one-time thing. I was fine with that. I didn’t want to keep doing this with him.