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If he mentioned the way I sounded when I was coming in front of my co-workers, I would snatch up Dan’s head and launch it at him.

“Babes.” The incubus stopped in front of us and shook his head, hands resting on his hips. “Look. At. You. Both. Gorgeous as always. It’s been too long, you two!”

“We’re not friends, dude,” Vince said wryly, glancing down at the incubus’s outfit. “And, uh, it looks like you’ve already been to one of these meet and greets, right?”

He was already decked out in full Goliaths merch. A Rolling Rimmer hat with a disco ball on the top and a long tongue draped over the brim. A pair of High Lord Crossbody fake wings awkwardly sitting on top of his real wings. A spiked black Silent Scream fanny pack, a black and red Blood Suckapunch cape and one of the T-shirts from Holt’s new merch line. “I almost got eaten with Frank and Beans by the giant mutant sewer rats under the Goliaths of Wrestling building and all I got was this T-shirt,” it said on the front. On the back was an illustration of a zombie-like rat sitting in a bowl of baked beans, eating a frankfurter.

The incubus waved a hand. “Last night. Bought tickets for the whole week so I didn’t miss you two.”

“I thought you hadn’t been to watch the wrestling before,” I said suspiciously. “You made it seem like you didn’t know who we were when I… saw you.” I quickly side-eyed Dan, who was staring at us avidly. “At the place.”

“So you were going to a motel?” He snickered. “A seedy incubus love motel? Vin, you dog.”

“I hadn’t!” the incubus told me cheerfully. “Still haven’t, actually. Only came to last night’s meet and greet. Just decided to support my two favourite motel guests by buying some merch. So how’ve you guys been?” he asked conversationally. “Still making wild, passionate love for hours and hours at a time? Honestly, sometimes I struggled to keep up. And I’m an incubus, for fuck’s sake.”

“Dude,” Vince gritted out as Dan burst out laughing and the fan standing in front of Heidi gasped, gawking at us.

“That’s not—That makes it sound like he… was involved,” I got out, my face hot with embarrassment. “He was not involved,” I assured anyone listening.

Which was, coincidentally, everyone in the room. Even Ludo had inched closer to the door, and I could see the side of his head peeking around the doorframe as he eavesdropped.

“No, unfortunately not.” The incubus chuckled. “Still got to reap the benefits, though. The sexual energy you two pumped out was…” He brought his fingers to his lips and kissed them. “Perfection. Just absolutely first-rate stuff, you two. Sterling work.”

“I’m feeling strangely proud of you, man,” Dan told Vince, squeezing his shoulder.

“You’re holding up the line,” Vince grated. “Do you want us to sign something?”

“Oh, sure.” The incubus dug into his pocket and pulled out a white jockstrap. As one, Vince and I stepped back.

“We’re not touching your jockstrap,” Vince told him bluntly.

“Don’t worry, it’s new!” the incubus assured us brightly. “Bought it just for this. So, when are you two coming back? I try to keep room fifteen available at all times. Just in case, you know? I’m an optimist.”

“You even had a specific room?” Dan asked in disbelief. “How many times did you go there?”

“Nowhere near enough,” the incubus told him earnestly, as Vince huffed, snatching the jockstrap out of his hand to sign it so we could get away from him faster. “But trust me, they made their presence known. It was like… magic. I swear, the entire motel’s energy felt different after the first time they came.”

Dan snickered. “Came as in…”

“Don’t fucking encourage him, asshole,” Vince snapped, reluctantly passing me the jockstrap so I could sign it.

From across the room, Larkin timidly cleared his throat. “So, um, what motel is this exactly…?”

The incubus perked up. “The Elfknot. You can find us online if you just search on the ArachNetwork. And if you call to book a room, just ask for Klaus. That’s me. I’ll give you a good rate.”

“Noice.” Larkin darted a quick look at Seb and flushed. “Thanks, broseph.”

“And thank you for this.” Klaus held up his signed jockstrap when I passed it back. “I’m going to mount it. Hang it in the front office.”

“Or maybe don’t do that,” Vince deadpanned, resting his hand on my lower back.

To our relief, Klaus was busy moving on to stand in front of Brian, who he hadn’t seemed to notice until that moment, because when he looked up at the towering werewolf, he choked on a breath.

“Unholy shit.”

Brian blinked, giving him a nervous smile. “Hi,” he said shyly. “Thanks for coming.”

Klaus just stared at him in silence, before slowly tracking his gaze down Brian’s tall, muscular frame.