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He waved a gloved hand. “Nah. Let’s play. This’ll be fun.”

—

Dan got surprisingly into it.

Nev hastily created a character for him—an intern called Marv who was the nephew of Suki’s character, Delia, the HR manager. He gave him a starting bonus of nepotism protection. His weakness was a propensity for raiding the office fridge and stealing other people’s food.

Dan seemed a little confused at first that the game was roleplaying as humans in the more mundane aspects of their lives, but he just shrugged, chuckled and said, “Okay, sure.”

Then he looked confused again when we actually started playing, with Nev recapping where we’d ended things in the campaign last week.

“Alright, yesterday’s workday ended with Delia in HR telling Simone the Warehouse Manager—that’s Teresa’s character,” he added helpfully for Dan’s sake, “that Bill from the warehouse—Bill is Abed’s character—can’t file the WPA059 form for his workplace accident that left him with a sprained ankle without also filing a PRWPA100 form, which is the form you’re supposed to file before you file the WPA059 form. In retaliation, Simone started spreading around the office that Delia snoops through people’s desk drawers after they’ve gone home.”

Dan rubbed his jaw, his butt squeaking against the chair as he shifted in his seat. “Uh…”

“Suki, you start.”

She grinned brightly. “Well, it’s my nephew’s first day as intern for the office, so he comes into work with me. When we get there, I introduce him to everyone.” She cleared her throat and adopted the snootier voice she used for Delia. “‘Hi everyone, this is my nephew Marv. He’s our new office intern. Please treat him with the same respect you show me. I will not tolerate any hazing. Marv, would you like to introduce yourself?’”

She nodded encouragingly at Dan as everyone looked at him. He glanced around the table with a slightly puzzled expression.

“Uh…”

“Just say what you imagine your character would say in this situation,” Nev told him brightly.

“Uh…” He hastily picked up his character sheet and squinted at it. “Okay, uh… ‘I’m Marv. The new intern. I like to raid the office fri—’”

“You shouldn’t tell them that,” I murmured quickly, shooting him a tiny smile. “He’s a nineteen-year-old, so just… imagine what a kid who doesn’t really want to spend his time interning in a boring office would say.”

“Right, right.” Dan drummed his fingers on the table, his latex glove squeaking with the movement. “Okay. ‘Yo yo yo, I’m Marv. I like, uh… skateboarding. And getting wasted with my buddies. We know a guy who’ll buy us beer from the gas station in exchange for weed.’”

I laughed, resisting the urge to reach over and squeeze his thigh. “That was good.”

“I quickly cut Marv off and let everyone know that he is actually very responsible,” Suki hastily said. “I take him over to his desk and quietly tell him that he can’t talk like that in the office or I’ll tell his mother about the beer.”

“Uh…” Dan shot me a quick look. “I say… ‘Sorry, Aunt Delia’?”

Abed cleared his throat. “I walk up to Marv’s desk as Delia walks away—”

“You limp,” Nev corrected. “Sprained ankle.”

“Right. I limp up to Marv’s desk and tell him to fill out the PRWPA100 form for me.”

“What the hell?” Dan grumbled beside me, making me purse my lips to hold back a snort.

“Why are you in the office and not in the warehouse?” Nev asked, raising his brow.

“Uh… I’ve come upstairs to complain to the manager”—he gestured at Reece—“about Delia being difficult, but when I heard her introduce her nephew as the intern, I just figure I’ll get him to do the legwork for me.”

“Alright, Marv, let’s see how long it takes you to fill out the form…” Nev rolled his twelve-sided die and peered down at it. “Six hours.”

“What?” Dan burst out, making me snort. “Six hours to fill in one fucking form?”

Nev shrugged. “It’s a really long form. And it’s your first day.”

“Can I stop for lunch at least?”

“Well, that depends. Do you want to make the best impression on your first day?”