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Chapter One

Change doesn’t happen in a day.

Hannah had first read that phrase on a motivational poster in the hospital. The words were stamped on the page with an outline of a mountain around them, and a small cartoon hiker climbing up to the summit.

The poster was promoting a balanced and healthy lifestyle. At the time, she’d been an A&E nurse in London, living off Red Bull and cheese toasties. But those words had struck a chord and sent her on a path that would change her life completely in one brave leap – which was ironic, considering it was talking about slow progress.

She’d given up her friends, family, and dreary predictable future to do something completely out of character. To move to Australia and reinvent herself as the person she’d always wanted to be. A fun and relaxed woman who enjoyed a life of sunshine and positivity, no longer riddled with fear and anxiety.

Hannah opened her newly purchased bag of lemon sherbets and popped one of the sweets in her mouth before shoving the rest in her essentials flight bag.

Change doesn’t happen in a day – or even months, she reminded herself firmly as she walked towards her gate.

Sydney had been incredible, and she really was looking forward to returning.

A recent blip had taken her off course, but soon she’d be back on track to becoming her best self.

The airport wasn’t too busy, so she got out her phone and absently scrolled through her social media feed, pleased when she discovered five new followers had been added to her account, @Hannah_BestAussieLife. Not bad, considering she’d hardly posted any fresh content since her brief home visit. She hadn’t had a chance, what with supporting her friend Ellie through her relationship drama.

Despite the dopamine boost from new followers, scrolling through the posed sunshine smiles, iced coffees, and beach photos on her feed only made her stomach churn with greater anxiety. That happiness had soured in the last month. When she’d hugged her mum and dad goodbye, she’d been afraid that she might confess how miserable she really was in Australia and beg to stay home.

Thankfully, her mum’s tearful words had given her the strength to walk away. ‘We’re so proud of you! Keep sending us your lovely pics!’ she’d said, hugging her tightly and then pushing her on her way.

It had been the final bolt in her coffin, so she’d nodded briskly and pretended her tears were due to the emotional goodbye. She wasn’t a child anymore; she’d turned thirty and she needed to go back to Sydney and fix her mistakes.

‘Fucking Patrick,’ grumbled Hannah, rolling the sweet around her mouth, grateful to be surrounded by strangers and not the eagle eyes of her family or Ellie.

Was that why she’d kept her ex from them – because in her heart, she’d known it wouldn’t last? She groaned at the thought and realised it was probably homesickness too, except she hadn’t even left the airport yet.

No, Patrick had just been a setback.

All I need to do is work harder. Set some more life goals! she reassured herself as she swiped through the photos on her feed until she was reminded of how happy she’d been before she met him. Surfing in the turquoise ocean, grinning with her cousin Jules, eating and laughing with her at all the best Sydney brunch spots, and snapping scenic photos while hiking in the Blue Mountains.

Everything looked so perfect. But Patrick hadn’t ruined it all on his own. No, she’d played a vital part by allowing the old, insecure, awkward Hannah to return.

It was no good dwelling on her mistakes. She needed to act. Perhaps she should write some personal goals or an action plan on her flight. Create a strategy to get her out of this current dip and focus on the new Hannah. She’d made so much progress already. How many times had people complimented her on this visit home?

‘Hannah, you look amazing! I barely recognise you!’

She put away her phone, feeling a little happier, and walked to the waiting area around her gate.

When she looked up, it was as if the brakes on both her legs and her heart had been slammed. Jerking to a stop, she rocked on the balls of her feet, her body frozen in place.

Someone she recognised, someone she thought she’d never see again, sat at her gate.

The muscles in her legs were tense, unsure of whether to choose fight or flight. Her mind chose neither and continued to stare at him as if in a trance.

She really should move before he turned his attention away from his laptop and saw her.

There was something very unsettling and unwelcome about seeing him again. A person from her past who knew too much and had thought so little of her.

At one time she had imagined meeting him again. Wafting her hair and flouncing away as if she were Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. ‘Big mistake! Huge!’ she would say cheerfully as she dropped into a sports car and roared away. But that was a fantasy.

Caleb Townsend.

Even the mere thought of his name threw her heart into an irregular rhythm. How many times had she whispered his name like a prayer, or stared at his face from beneath a fringe of her own mousy hair, wondering how it would feel to be kissed by him? She’d once written Hannah Townsend in her maths book and then had to Tipp-Ex it out on both sides of the page so that no one would realise she was a weirdo.

Thankfully, Caleb seemed engrossed in his laptop and hadn’t noticed her arrival. There was a clear row of chairs between them, and yet she couldn’t help but pick a spot that also allowed her quick, direct glimpses of him every now and then, between the constantly shifting heads of a couple with three children under ten in front of her.