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“Then you need to figure that out before you say anything to her. Because if you tell her you want more and then change your mind in two weeks, you’re going to lose her completely. Not just as whatever this is, but as a friend. As your manager. As everything.”

He was right. I hated that he was right.

“Okay,” I said quietly. “I’ll be careful.”

“Good. And Jeremy?”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe think about why you’re so worked up about this. You’ve had plenty of hookups that didn’t mean anything. If this one’s different, there might be a reason for that.”

We said our goodbyes and I hung up, tossing my phone onto the bed beside me. I stared at the ceiling, Beau’s words echoing in my head.

It sounded so simple. So logical. The mature, responsible thing to do was to make a decision. All I wanted was to walk back over to her cabin, knock on her door, and tumble into bed with her again. I wanted to take my time and enjoy every single one of those delicious curves.

I got off the bed, pulled on my coat, and headed to the lodge to get dinner. I’d see how things went with Lucy. Let her lead. I’d follow.

21

LUCY

The next two days passed in a blur of cold professionalism. Literal cold. A snowstorm had rolled in and left us all hunkered down in our cabins or congregating in the lodge.

My way of managing the awkwardness was to do my job. I showed up. I managed schedules and reviewed contracts. I did all the things I was paid to do. The couple of times there were shoots, I was present. Sebastian had called an audible and decided to take advantage of the massive stone fireplace and got some indoor shots. I could have kissed him. Inside was so much better than being out in the snow.

For one series, they had Jeremy unbuttoning his shirt, flashing some of that chest that I couldn’t stop thinking about. Of course, it took me right back to that cabin. And despite my best efforts, I thought about the cabin constantly. But I told myself I was compartmentalizing like a champion. Every time the memory surfaced, I shoved it firmly back into the box I’d built for it and focused on whatever was in front of me.

It was fine. I was fine. Jeremy was fine. In fact, he’d been annoyingly perfect. He wasn’t cold or distant. He wasn’t weird or pouty. He showed up every morning looking like a man who had never experienced an awkward moment in his life and treated me exactly like what I was supposed to be.

His manager.

He said good morning. He asked about the schedule. He thanked me when I handed him his revised call sheet. He was professional and completely normal.

I hated it. It hurt my heart a little to know he could carry on like nothing happened. Worse, with Jeremy being normal, it put the full weight of the weirdness squarely on me. I was the one being careful. I was the one choosing my words before I spoke and keeping a professional amount of physical space between us. I was the one walking on eggshells.

He was just existing and going about his day like there was nothing to think about. He had so easily dismissed all of it.

I hated it.

I also missed him. Which didn’t make sense because he was right there. He’d been right there for two days, but it felt like he’d moved to another country. We were both pretending nothing happened, him better than me, but there was no chance he wasn’t feeling something. Right?

I missed the version of us that didn’t require this much effort.

One more night. Then we’d get some time apart. I’d be able to reset and take a page out of his book. No weirdness when we picked back up after a short break. Sebastian had put out the word that there would be one last dinner and it was going to be a party. No worries about looking hungover in the morning. That meant it would be a free-for-all.

I thought about skipping it, but I didn’t want to be rude to Sebastian and Bernadette. They’d been nothing but nice.

When I walked in, I actually paused. I’d been in the lodge that morning for breakfast. It looked completely different. The hosts had stepped up their game. The usual buffet setup had been replaced with family-style platters of food that made my mouth water just looking at them. Roasted salmon, prime rib, mountains of roasted vegetables, and what smelled like fresh bread. There was a table laden with desserts. Sebastian and Bernadette had outdone themselves.

I found a seat at one of the long tables, positioning myself between two crew members I’d gotten friendly with over the past few days. Safety in numbers. If I was surrounded by people, I couldn’t end up in some corner having an intense conversation with Jeremy about feelings and mistakes and all the things I was desperately trying not to think about.

The wine flowed freely. Music played in the background. The mood was celebratory, everyone relieved that the shoot had gone well despite the weather challenges and various near-disasters.

I loaded my plate with salmon and vegetables, then went back for the prime rib because why not. This was a celebration. I deserved carbs and protein and whatever else I wanted. Jeremy sat at the other end of the table, surrounded by crew members and one of the female models who kept touching his arm when she laughed. I watched them for a moment, then forced myself to look away. It didn’t matter. He could flirt with whoever he wanted. That was who he was. That was who he’d always been.

The salmon was incredible. I focused on that instead.

Halfway through the meal, Sebastian stood up and tapped his knife against his wine glass. The room quieted, everyone turning to face him.