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“It’s Lucy. She left Switzerland without telling me. She left a note saying she couldn’t do this anymore, and she’s not answering my calls or texts. I’m at her apartment right now, but she’s not here. I don’t know where she is, and I’m worried about her.”

Another pause, longer this time. “No, she’s not there.”

“You know,” I said.

“I know a lot of things.”

“Do you know where she is?”

“I might.” Gladys’s tone told me she definitely knew where she was and believed I had fucked up. “But before I tell you anything, I need to know something, Jeremy.”

“Anything.”

“What are you planning to say to her when you find her?”

I hadn’t fully articulated what I would say.

“I don’t know exactly,” I admitted. “I’ve been running through conversations in my head since I left Switzerland, and none of them feel right. But I know one thing for certain.”

“And what’s that?”

“I want to be with her. I want to face this next phase of our lives together. I don’t care about my career or my image or any of the bullshit I said in that interview. None of it matters without her.”

Silence on the other end.

“Good answer. I know where she is.”

I waited. “And are you going to tell me?”

“Jeremy, that girl is everything to me. She’s been through more than anyone her age should have to endure. If you hurt her or make promises you can’t or won’t keep, I will make your life very difficult. Do you understand?”

“I understand.”

“Then go find her. And Jeremy? Be gentle. She’s more fragile than she lets on.”

“I know. I will.”

I hung up and was already running for the stairs before the phone was back in my pocket.

I was going to find her. And when I did, I was going to tell her she was stuck with me for a good long while.

37

LUCY

The waiting room at the OB-GYN office was exactly what I’d expected. Soft pastel colors on the walls. Magazines about parenting and pregnancy scattered across end tables. A water cooler in the corner that gurgled every few minutes. Kids were taking advantage of the toys scattered around in the corner.

My eyes drifted, doing my best not to stare at the women in various stages of pregnancy. Some had partners beside them. Others were alone like me.

I was definitely alone.

I’d called yesterday in a moment of clarity, deciding that if I was going to do this, I needed to do it right. Get confirmation. Find out how far along I was. Start taking prenatal vitamins or whatever pregnant women were supposed to do. The receptionist said they’d had a last-minute cancellation and offered me an appointment at nine.

I panicked. I thought I’d have to wait weeks. And then it was happening. I almost rejected it because part of me wanted to be in denial for a bit longer.

But I said yes and now I was here.

Alone.