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“No.”

She answered so quickly that I almost laughed.

“Damn. You ain’t even have to think about it?”

“Nope, because you don’t owe her anything. You were her child, Tahari. She was supposed to take care of you, not put you in a position where you had to protect yourself from her.”

I lowered my eyes.

“She was sick, baby. Whatever was going on in her head wasn’t normal, and I hope she gets whatever help she needs. But that doesn’t mean you have to be the person who gives it to her.”

I sat there thinking about what she said. For years, I had been angry at my mother. I hated her for what she did, hated the way she made me feel, and hated that I couldn’t look back on my childhood without remembering something I wished had never happened. But seeing her outside that grocery store had brought up something else. I didn’t hate her the way I used to. I didn’t love her the way a son was supposed to love his mother either. Mostly, I just felt sorry for her. And maybe that was all I had left to give.

“I don’t think I ever wanna see her again,” I admitted.

“Then you don’t have to.”

“What if something happens to her?”

Maliah looked at me.

“Then you deal with how you feel about it when that time comes. But you can’t spend your life making decisions because you’re scared you might regret something later.”

I nodded slowly.

“You right.”

“I know.”

I looked at her, and she smiled. I shook my head while laughing for the first time that night.

“Your ass always gotta have the last word.”

I pulled her into my lap, and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

“Thank you,” I told her.

“For what?”

“For listening and not looking at me crazy.”

“Why would I look at you crazy?”

I shrugged.

“I don’t know. That ain’t exactly some shit a nigga goes around telling people.”

“Well, I’m not people.”

I smiled.

“Nah, you ain’t.”

She brushed her fingers along the side of my face.

“And I hope you know none of that changes how I see you.”

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. I had spent years trying to make sure nobody ever found out what happened between me and my mother. I had been embarrassed about something I hadn’t asked for, and somewhere along the way, I had convinced myself that keeping it buried meant that I had moved past it. But sitting there with Maliah, I realized I had never really given myself a chance to talk about how it affected me.