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I looked back at my brother.

“He does look old, though.”

“MJ,” she said as she wiped tears from the corner of her left eye.

“Aight, I’m done.”

I bit back the rest before I had Ma hurting herself for real.

For a while, I just stood there looking at him. I’d known for months that I was getting a little brother. I’d felt him move in Ma’s stomach and listened to everybody talk about what things would be like once he got here. But none of that felt the same as actually seeing him. He was really here. After everything that happened last night, he was here, and Ma was okay.

“Pick him up,” Ma said.

I looked at her.

“He’s sleeping.”

“So?”

“So, leave him alone,” I said in his defense.

A smile spread across her face.

“You don’t want to hold your brother?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then pick him up.”

I glanced at Pops. He was already watching me with an amused look on his face.

“Why both of y’all looking at me like that?”

“Come here,” Pops said.

I stepped closer. Since he was already beside the bassinet, he only had to lean forward to reach inside. He moved carefully, sliding one hand beneath the baby’s head and the other beneath his body before lifting him. I watched the whole thing without meaning to. There was nothing dramatic about it. Pops didn’t struggle or complain. He simply moved slower than I was used to seeing him move, taking the time to make sure he was positioned right before bringing the baby against his chest. The wheelchair didn’t stop him from holding his son. It just changed how he had to do it.

Pops adjusted the blanket and looked at me.

“Give me your arm.”

I moved closer and did what he told me. He guided me through where to put my hands before transferring my brother into my arms. The second I had him, my whole body tightened, and Ma noticed.

“Relax,” she said.

“I am relaxed.”

She smiled, and Pops chuckled beside me. I ignored them both and looked down.

My brother shifted against my chest, his face scrunched up for a second before he settled again. One tiny hand had worked its way out of the blanket, and his fingers were moving against my shirt. The tension slowly left my shoulders.

“Damn,” I murmured.

I didn’t have anything smart to say after that. I just held him. He was so little that it was hard to understand how somebody that small had managed to scare an entire family the way he did last night. His fingers closed around mine, and I stared down at his hand. Something about that tiny grip hit me harder than I expected. He didn’t know anything about the world he’d been born into yet. He didn’t know that there was a man out there who had already brought enough pain into this family. He didn’t know anything, and right now he was safe.

I wanted to keep it that way, and just like that, my mind went back to Penelope. I didn’t want it to. I wanted these few minutes to belong to my brother, but I could still see the picture every time I let my thoughts drift. Ghost had gotten too fucking close. My brother’s fingers tightened around mine again. I understood something then that I hadn’t been able to put into words downstairs with Tahari. Ghost following Penelope hadn’t just made me angry. It had made me feel responsible because she mattered to me. And once somebody mattered to you like that, knowing they could’ve been hurt while you were somewhere else, did something to you.

I lifted my eyes toward Pops, and he was watching me. For years, he’d been the person standing between this family and anything that tried to touch us. I had never really thought about what that cost him because he’d never made us think about it. He just handled shit. And looking at him now, sitting in that wheelchair because Ghost had put three bullets in him while he protected Maliah, I didn’t want to hand him one more thing to carry.