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Kat —

You’ve never been nothing. Hold on. I’ll be right there.

Zane

I close my laptop quickly and sit down on the stairs.

I kind of wish he was serious. Wait, is he? The man is unpredictable but sadly, I won’t be here if he shows up.

All the girls are here at Courtney’s toasting me with lattes as I head out.

“And that’s all you’re taking?”

“Yeah. A camera bag, backpack and a carry-on.”

Ginny is dumbfounded. But all I need are pajamas, some shorts, underwear, t-shirts, jeans, one dress and a hoodie.

“I could never survive.”

“No one is asking you to.” My lip quivers a bit. I’m scared to travel across the world alone. Anna set us up on one of those circle tracker apps so they can see where I am. I’m okay with that. Mostly I’m okay with pretending I’m okay. My phone pings, my car is here.

“Smell ya later bitches.”

Anna looks at me disappointed. “No. Proper goodbye.” She hugs me and they all tell me they love me and good luck.

This is a huge fucking mistake. Halfway through my plane trip, and I’m flabbergasted there’s still nine hours left. Jesus. I’ve re-read the in-flight magazine. I timed myself on how fast I can fill in the crossword puzzle for all the issues I have access to. I reached the end of the internet. I’m out of Bill Murray movies. I should’ve learned cross-stitch. That’s a craft I haven’t tried. I re-read the blog and respond randomly to things. But I do find this long ass flight to be weird since he started my flight in the Seychelles and now that I’m like 9 hours into it, he’s in Prague. Time is fucked up.

Dateline Prague. Old Town Square.

Kat, Kitty Kat, Pretty Kat, Slutty Kat, My Kat...

Standing in Old Town Square waiting for the astronomical clock. I find Prague to be a patchwork of history. Scraps left from different movements or discarded histories knitted together to form this city. I’d tell you all about it if you let me call. I’m headed to my favorite chicken place tonight. I’ll be sitting all by myself, no one else with me. Just thoughts of how things that shouldn’t fit together can make the best combinations. The disparate images of art nouveau and medieval war-torn bombed-out buildings make all the sense in the world here. No one sees two separate pieces of history, just one solid piece of a foundation.

Just saying. Z

Z

Getting poetic in your old age? I’m in a very cramped situation but hopefully I’ll be able to sleep very soon.

Aggie

Prague - scum hotel

Hello there - KT

This hotel is ass. No fucking plugs and the lights are super dim. It’s loud, and the food sucks. Had the shittiest day. Whole shoot got scratched after I backed the fucking van into a pole. They couldn’t fucking get it out. Traffic in the city got screwed up, and we missed the window to tape in the stupid ass castle here. Fort. Whatever it is. Small fucking minds not willing to help. Sucks ass. Liesel was a raging bitch. Of course, Bill takes her side even though I’m in the right. Fix it, Liesel. It’s your job. I fucked it up with the van, but now we’re days behind on our schedule, and the network’s on my ass. They want more gravitas and less grab ass from me. Fuck them. Fuck Liesel for not going to bat for me and the show we created. Whatever. My mother will not leave me the fuck alone. I thought this brilliant plan was for them to give us a break while they did all the dumb ass planning. Time to get fucked up and fuck up some more shit.

JCJ4

Well, now I’m awake. His nasty side is coming out. I saw a version of it the night we got outed by the Goodknows.

YO!

Hold up. Sorry you had a shitty day, I am, but please refrain from calling women bitches. Why can’t she be an asshole? Or a dick? Why a bitch? And from what I know, she’s the only one who’s got your back. And your mom? On my ass 24/7 with guest lists and details. Figure it out and stop being a whiny bitch. Don’t write back to me until you apologize to her. And go get drunk but maybe don’t drive the van for a while.

K

I doze off and when I wake up, unfortunately I’m still on the plane. My god, this is what I should have prepared myself for not traveling alone, trapped with this many people. He hasn’t written back. I poke him a little more.