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“If I tell my mom it’s a lie, then everyone gets nothing…” I listen to the waves crashing hoping it will take all this dread away. Her voice pops in and out.

“...leverage. I’m this deep...”

She’s up and in the kitchen area now talking to herself. Gesticulating wildly and I don’t want to find it attractive. Apparently, I’m attracted to lunatics who ruin my life.

“…go with it? I can give myself a little breathing room to figure out what the hell to do with my life.”

I hear the skirt ruffling quickly before I can clock that she’s running from the front of the villa to the patio.

The moonlight breaks across her face and there’s something other worldly about it. It’s manic but sweet and suddenly there’s a fierce determination in her gaze. She’s a baffling completely confident mess, and I can’t look away.

She takes the bottle from me and swigs again. Hands it back and says, “The only way out is through.”

“What the hell are you saying?”

Chapter 22

Point of No Return or Crossing The Rubicon

KAT

Maui

All my panic is lifted. The pressure to be something, to do something and do it well somehow evaporates in the wisps of this idea.

“Nan won’t care I’m homeless and unemployed, or that the math doesn’t math, not if there’s a wedding. Plans will begin, and as is a tradition in families like ours, we can choose to have very little say. I won’t have to see her except for fittings. They can all afford to lose deposits for parties that will never take place. When I get married for real, I’ll do it at a freaking Days Inn.”

“Whatcha, Whatcha, Whatcha Want...”

I walk back into the villa and stand in the middle of our living room staring at him. He leaps up, his perfect hair tousled and his eyes wild. I’d jump him if he promised not to speak, and if I didn’t have a massive story to spin right now. I rub my hands together warming them up to pitch one giant lie-laden softball right over home plate.

I pick up my ringing phone. He glares at me. “Don’t fucking do it.”

“Hi, Mom.” I put her on speaker so I don’t have to relay all this shit. I point to a chair and he sits while giving me the finger. Swigging whiskey.

“Kaiser Agnes Taylor. What is going on? Who is Zane Jackson? Is this Colin’s friend Zane? Porter and Ben’s friend? But isn’t he the one you spent the evening watering down his drinks and adding salt to them at Ginny and Colin’s wedding party?” His eyes get wide. The man put ice down my back while I gave a toast.

I glare back at Zane as I speak through gritted teeth. “Yes. He’s here. And he’s wonderful. You’ll adore him and his family. We were trying to keep it a secret. We didn’t want to outshine his brother on his wedding day, but Zane couldn’t keep it to himself another minute.”

Zane’s scowling at me while I speak. I flip him off. He paces again.

“Were you and Chad drifting? You seemed so shocked when he broke up with you.”

Zane tries to approach and I put a hand out. In for a fucking penny in for a pound. What’s another lie?

“That was all an act for you and Dad. I didn’t want you to think we’d broken up earlier. So I made a big deal in front of you. We were separated for a while. It’s why he was coming to dinner with us, so we could tell you. Then he ditched me that night by text and made me angry that he couldn’t maintain civility in the break up.”

Zane grins and whispers, “Holy shit you’re good at this.” I wave him away, pursing my lips and nodding. Duh. I’m fucking great at telling my mom what she wants to hear. I’m also great at arguing with her but that’s not the skill I need right now.

“Mom, I want to focus on my future and on the positive and…”

“And you’re really getting married? And you thought it best for me to hear it from that know-it-all Curtie Goodknow. That woman…” My mom blathers on about how much she doesn’t trust ‘that woman.’

Zane stands up and speaks to me in a tone I haven’t heard in an hour. “The only way out of it is through it.” I smirk, and he kisses the top of my head. I lose my train of thought because his eyes are doing that dancey thing they do.

Zane steps up and my shoulders relax. “Allow me to interrupt, Mrs. Taylor…”

“Oh. Hello, Zane. And it’s Nan.” He passes me the bottle, and I take a healthy sip.