Page 2

“Arrangements were provided in his will. The color of the stone is all you need to concern yourself with. But this is vital. I need you to focus. Poppy, sign this immediately. We have a lot to do in very little time since no one knew the two of you were married. Then we can bury Sal and Lou.”

“Lou?” His bodyguard and best friend. Lou? “Lou is my friend. He’s the protector of all of us. He would save Sal if Sal couldn’t save himself.” It’s sharp now. The pain is sharp. It’s clawing at me. But I don’t know where they are. Or how to get at the pain.

My mom grabs my cheeks, speaking directly into my face. “Oh, honey. Listen, sweetie. I’m so sorry. According to Mark, they’re both gone.”

“Gone where?”

“Gone forever, my sweet girl.” A hand covers mine.

Why is his FBI handler reporting false information? I know Mark. He’s so honest and forthright. He’s so connected to Sal. They are friends after spending so much time together as Sal’s been going legit. Mark doesn’t lie. Why would he start now?

The weight of the world settles into my befuddled brain, making every cell in my body instantly heavier. I look at Becca’s face and then my mom’s, and a light turns out inside of me.

We sit for a long time, or maybe it’s a moment. But a second is all it takes to change my chemical makeup. Who and what I am. The direction my life will go all hinges on this sentence they keep repeating. “He’s gone.”

And then there are other men. Men in suits who surround me.

I can’t breathe.

And if I ever do it again, it won’t be the same.

It will be hard to breathe without him in the world.

I’ll never know another day to its fullest.

They’ll all be shadows and reflections of who I might have been.

We didn’t even get our moment. He said we could walk away and be safe. He promised, and he’s never broken a promise.

I’m sure I’ll get angry at some point.

If I’m able to get up again.

If I’m ever able to find peace.

There’s only darkness now that Sal Pietro has been taken from this earth.

“Sign here, Mrs. Pietro.” Someone in a cheap suit shoves a piece of paper in front of me as he says my married name for the first time out loud.

I never got to be Poppy Pietro, always hiding our relationship behind Poppy Gelbert. Mrs. Pietro loved the man who was bigger than this life and lit me up in a way no one ever will again.

“Poppy, honey. Sign this, ok. It’s what Sal left you,” Becca explains.

All the things around me mush together again as if I’m standing too close to an impressionist painting behind the blur of my tears. Colors bleeding into each other, defining nothing and leaving me hollow. I can’t see the picture clearly. The pixels aren’t sharp but the pain is.

“What did he leave me?” My voice eeks out.

There’s a beat in the room that could be my heartbeat or just stilted air.

“Everything.”

Chapter

Two

Poppy

Day 2 Post Sal (PS)