Page 24
He sits on the edge of the bed. I pull up Ethan’s pictures.
“Those kites look awesome. And is that a bearded lady? He’s a goofball like you.” He returns my phone. He’s distant for the first time since I walked back into this house. No, thank you. He stands up and walks away.
“Anything else?” I raise an eyebrow at him.
“No, why? Did I not have an appropriate reaction?”
He’s shut down. He hates my kid. Shit. I guess it’s good we’re two weeks temporary. I mean, that’s what we agreed to. I can do this, but I am curious.
“You don’t like babies, but you’re cool with older kids, right?” He nods. “You’re censoring,” I accuse him and point to his chest.
“It won’t matter. Let’s just be with each other while we can and then…” He shifts and his voice drifts off. He turns away from me. Nope. Not having it.
“Why are you censoring? Not ever. Brutal honesty. Then what?” Ooh, back it down Jillien. Wow.
I crawl to the edge of the bed and go up on my knees to get his attention. “I wish we could build a sex-and-sandwich-eating bubble around us. But life is going to creep in a bit in these two weeks. Talk to me. ” Holy shit. Do not think past two weeks. I’m vibrating and trembling a bit so I don’t say a whole bunch of really vulnerable shit. Tuxedo Cat does not like me shaking the bed. She hisses at me, and I hiss right back. Fletch laughs and rubs his thumb over my cheek. I am lost to sanity.
“You’re so sure of yourself and me.” And now I’m terrified the most important thing in my life might prevent this from happening. My gut tells me it’s better to know now if Ethan’s a factor. If having a kid lessens my worth in his mind, then fuck him. And not the good kind.
He reaches for me and squeezes my thigh. I find myself closing my eyes to memorize the feeling. I think he’s gearing up to shove my ass on a plane. “You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever known.” I’m not sure if this is a compliment or a concern. I choose compliment.
“You too.” We were connected long before I acknowledged it. The shorthand that comes with our history is indulgent.
He says, “Let’s keep it all buried. It doesn’t matter what I think about Ethan. This is good. There’s no reason to worry further.”
Even though this is a temporary thing, I won’t be in the dark one more second of my life. I unload on him. “That’s how I killed a marriage and how my father is killing himself. I won’t do it. I won’t bury one single emotion or syllable. I’m done with that. If it’s too much for you, if Ethan’s too much, or my insane emotions are too much, I can be out of here in an hour. It’s fine. But I want to keep feeling the way I do right now. Passionate and free. I don’t want to keep occasionally fucking my trainer and calling it a life.” I’m bold and unhinged. All my barriers seem to dissolve around him. I’m pure Jilly right now.
He grins. “Quick pause. I can’t handle all this without coffee or alcohol. And can you give me a rundown of how much trainer sex you’ve had?”
“Yeah. I need it.” I grin at him.
“Sex from your trainer?” His voice is calm and directed, like I’m being cross-examined.
“Coffee. Let me get dressed. I want a Wawa Sizzli!”
He stares at me. “Really?” I nod. “How about a real meal and I’ll get you a Wawa hoagie later?”
“Done. Ok. Ooh. Can we go to Bookbinders?”
“You know it’s called The Olde Bar now,” he corrects me.
“Whatever. You know what I mean. I want oysters.” He claps his hands together. I admire his broad and cut chest. In the daylight, it’s even more delightful than last night. The unexpected ripples and hard planes of Liam are another cherry on this surprise sexy sundae.
He says, “Interesting. I was thinking about coffee and a croissant, but beer and crabs will do. Now circle back to the trainer thing. How often does that happen?” He puts his hands on his hips.
I pull his waistband to get him closer. I lick his chest. “You’re so much better. And he can’t do what you can. He’s tried.” He looks at me like I’m a riddle. “How’s this? Now that I know how good it can be, he’ll never get another opportunity.” I speak the truth. The trainer is just sex. Fletch is, well, a scary, freaky, wonderful thing.
“And what is it I can do that he can’t?”
“Make me wet on command.” He leaps on me, pinning me down and kissing me intensely. Then he pulls back and brushes his fingers over my cheek.
“Please add that to the court record. We do not need to pursue this matter any further.” I giggle at him.
“Thank you, counselor.”
He smiles at me knowingly. “You are not easy.”
I smirk and reach down his jeans. “But are you hard?”
