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BEN: Urgent. Anyone there? Need help.
SABRINA: OMG did you find Laurie?
BEN: Yes. But not good.
JONATHAN: Elaborate. How can we get this true love back on track?
BEN: …
SABRINA: Tris, Rory, you online?
BEN: …
SABRINA: Come on, guys, I know you’ve seen these messages.
BEN: …
SABRINA: Ugh! WAKE UP, TABI! I don’t care if it’s four in the morning in Sonoma. I need support here, not two emotionless British dudes and the Hallmark quoting farm boy fiancé.
TRISTAN: We can’t offer support until we know what the problem is. And we have emotions. We just don’t go waving them around willy-nilly like Americans.
BEN: …
SABRINA: Willy-nilly? OMG, TABI, WHERE ARE YOU? I need estrogen and sarcasm back up.
BEN: I’ve discovered Laurie, who is apparently the only woman I will ever truly love, works for the company I just bloody bought. They’ve all been doing fuck all for years while she does everything. Two of her colleagues know we shagged and it’s gone tits-up. She resigned and left. Now, everyone will think I’m firing people because of her and not their browser histories.
SABRINA: Um. That’s super crazy. Love?
TRISTAN: You shagged her? Fair play, mate. Fair play.
BEN: She’s incredible. I’ve waited my entire life to find someone this strong, funny, gorgeous and who wears glasses. I don’t give a fuck about the company any more, I just want her.
SABRINA: I feel ya. It’s a zing thing.
TRISTAN: Where is she now? I will mock you later Sabrina for your ‘zing thing’.
BEN: I presume she went home but I don’t know where she lives.
TRISTAN: Look up her personnel file.
BEN: I can’t do that, it’s a breach of data protection.
RORY: Grow a pair.
TRISTAN: Drink a can of man-up.
SABRINA: Really Tris? ‘Man- up?’ Is that a real thing? If it is, then ‘zing thing’ is real.
JONATHAN: I agree with the Brit boys. Pull your socks up, or whatever it is you do over there.
RORY: Ben, if she means that much to you get off the fucking phone and get her back. I would have given up everything for Zoe. The title, the castle, the estate, everything. Just fucking go.
SABRINA: Hold up. What? Rory, dear, you have a castle? What the fuck? What kind of title? Tabi is going to be all over this! Ben, what are you gonna do? You have to figure it out.
SABRINA: Ben? You still here?
SABRINA: Ben??????
