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“I mean, yeah,” said Robin, stifling a laugh. “They basically manufacture almost every piece of medical equipment that you can think of—from bottles to breathing machines. Recently, the company decided they wanted to shift towards pharmaceutical drug development.”

“Huge ass risk,” Hal chimed in, nodding in understanding what it was like to run a business. “Why move in that direction when they’ve been making more than enough money this whole time?”

“Well, you know what they say… even if you’re the richest man in the world, it will never be enough.”

“And what better way to make them richer than to invest in the newest generation’s brightest minds?” Ken answered.

Robin hummed in agreement. “Exactly right.”

Ken gave a short nod, and Jun got the sense it was less satisfaction than confirmation.

“So that’s why he was chosen…” Jun covered his mouth, realizing he spoke his words out loud.

“What was that, Connor?” asked Robin.

Jun’s heart rate shot up, almost biting his tongue. “Uh, Ayase.” He looked around the room, hoping at least someone would get it. “The guy who created the drug. That’s who they were investing in the first place since he was a fresh graduate.”

Robin hummed, the laptop speakers vibrating. “Precisely,” they said in a low, sultry tone. “Alright, everyone, if something happens to me, Connor can take over my job!”

Jun started to ask what exactly Robin’s job was, but Kana cut in before he could finish.

“Wait, just to be clear, this ‘Ritsuki Ayase,’” she said with air quotes, “is the young scientist that went viral on Twitter just because he was hot, right?”

“Yeah.” Jun froze when he realized what he just blurted out.

Alex softly snorted into his hand.

Jun dropped his gaze to his toes, avoiding everyone’s gaze. Heat torched his ears and cheeks.

“I mean, I’m sure he’s just… fine,” said Robin, clearing their throat. “Anyway, Paragon decided to run their risk on this new guy, right? Because he proposed an idea to create a drug that would let you become your most ideal self, and it was heavily marketed towards the young adult demographic—the most anxiety-ridden and lowest self-esteem population.”

“Become the person you want to be,” breathed Hal. “That was the slogan they were advertising at the time.”

“Correct,” said Robin. “The idea: The brain opens the inner recesses of your mind, gathering everything that makes you, well, you. Your true self, so to speak. You no longer have to worry about hiding different aspects of yourself from other people. Everyone gets to see the most confident and best version of yourself—or so they say.”

Jun’s stomach churned. Ruki had been working on this the entire time—and never told him. Not fully. Jun could speculate on a million reasons why, but none of them dulled the sting. Hearing it explained by a stranger behind a screen felt like a final small betrayal, even though Ruki probably never meant it as one.

“But I mean,” said Kana, “it sounds like it can be pretty helpful to those that need it. Especially as someone that’s been through those issues, it can be good for those who have no one to go to, and you don’t want to be a burden to others—”

“It’s not worth it,” Alex interrupted. He wiped his nose. “I’ve taken my fair share of all kinds of dope, but that was one of the worst ones I’ve ever fucking experienced.”

Jun stared at Alex. He’d known about the gang, the violence, the jobs, but hearing Alex casually admit to taking the same drug Ruki created made something tighten behind his ribs. How many people in his life had been touched by this thing without him knowing?

“What do you mean?” Kana asked.

Hal sighed, stepping forward, hands in his pockets. “A few years back, when Augs and I were still with the Garras, we were given a stash of some Durden. Samples to test it out, you know, so we can tell customers what it’s like. And…”

“So you like drink this pink juice thing in a small ass tube, right?” asked Alex, mimicking the size of a tube with his fingers. “Tastes like this nasty combo of salty and sweet. And while you’re still gagging on it—boom. Hits you like a fucking truck. The high itself? Incredible. Makes you feel like you can do anything, be anyone.”

“But the aftermath?” He whistled, drawing a hand across his throat. “You don’t remember shit. Who you are, where you’ve been. Even just five minutes of that?”

He shook his head. “Nah. Fuck that.”

Kana uncrossed her arms. Hal shifted his weight. Even Ken had gone still in his chair. The word “forgot” hung in the air like something none of them wanted to touch.

Robin spoke up, their synthetic voice measured now—no longer playful. “The clinical term is acute dissociative amnesia. It was one of the primary side effects flagged during trials. Severity varied by individual—some people lost minutes, some lost hours. The team never found a way to eliminate it.”

A shiver ran through Jun. A drug that let you become your ideal self. That erased the parts of you that hurt. He thought of Ruki on the rooftop, Ruki falling asleep at Alex’s apartment, Ruki saying work was rough. Had Ruki built this drug for the world—or for himself?