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“Hang on, Garza,” said Ruki, reaching out to Alex.

Alex held a finger at Ruki and shook his head. “It’s really important,” he said.

Ruki pressed his lips into a thin line, giving him the same look whenever Alex was up to his unbelievable schemes.

Alex responded with a sly smile. “I’ll be back. I’ll catch up with you guys later at the food court or something.” He glanced back at Jun and jerked his chin towards Ruki.

With Ruki’s attention on him, Jun’s hand couldn’t reach for Alex and beg him to stay. He could have his stupid phone call while they were all together. Why did he have to go now? He was not mentally prepared to be left alone. He would rather die right now than be left with—

Alex was gone. Jun’s eyes swept the space. He truly left him with Ruki. His lips couldn’t form any sound.

What do you even say to someone that used to be your best friend, who disappeared from your life for a whole year? Was the person in front of him really the Ruki he once knew?

He didn’t want to know. He shouldn’t have been here. He shouldn’t have let Alex drag him out. He should’ve been home, so none of this could’ve —

“Hey Jun.” Ruki’s soft voice brought him back to reality. Ruki closed the distance between them. His dark eyes and a warm smile met Jun’s gaze. The same smile whenever they saw each other every morning during their school days. “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay. How about you?” said Jun very quickly. He cursed at himself for speaking so fast that he almost bit his tongue.

Ruki put his hands into his pockets. His eyes creased, his whole face lighting up with a chuckle. Jun’s chest clenched. “I’m doing alright too.” He paused for a moment before asking, “What Alex said earlier. Is it true?”

“What is?” Jun tried not to stumble over his words.

A moment passed again. He spoke softer with a slight sadness in his tone. “That you haven’t left your room until now?”

Jun’s brain couldn’t transfer the words to his mouth, resulting in fumbling over them. “I mean, yeah—but—uh.” This was the person he used to share everything with.

“Is everything alright?” Ruki asked again. When Jun didn’t answer fast enough, he heard him mumble what sounded like, “Was it me?”

Jun froze, snapping his eyes up at Ruki. “What?” he said, shocked.

“Huh?” Ruki’s eyebrows rose, a smile tugging on his lips. “Sorry, I was just talking to myself.” Jun knew exactly what he meant. The words landed like a blow to a bruise that never healed, making him more anxious. “Don’t worry about it,” said Ruki again, as if he read his mind. He always did. “I’m going to have a word with Alex later.”

“Why? He didn’t do anything!” Jun sputtered.

Ruki shook his head. “He could have said something about it earlier.”

Jun didn’t try to argue with Ruki on that front because he knew he ignored Alex many times, especially when he was deep in his thoughts. His world mostly consisted of his bed, video games, and books. Even if he did have the opportunity to ask Alex, the thought never occurred to him. He had always assumed Alex wouldn’t be open to that kind of conversation anyway.

Ruki pulled out his phone and glanced at the screen. He turned to Jun when he stuffed the phone back in his pocket. “Do you have some time?”

For someone who lost the sense of time by having nothing better to do, it was a silly question. “Yes,” he answered meekly.

Ruki angled his head towards the walkway behind him. “How about I buy you something at the food court? We can catch up.”

There was the Ruki Jun had always known. Always offering to treat him whenever the opportunity arose, despite Jun’s constant protests. “No, it’s okay, Ruki! You don’t need to! I’m okay.”

“Do you have to go somewhere?”

Ruki’s question made Jun feel guilty. He never turned Ruki down without a reasonable excuse. Today he had none.

“I don’t,” said Jun. He took a few steps back, about to escape. He raised his hands, waving them sporadically, unable to control his nerves. “I just don’t want to bother with whatever it is that you’re doing. I don’t want to get in your way or anything—”

Ruki grabbed Jun’s wrist, grip firm, and pulled Jun so close he could see all of his features: his golden tanned skin, his long lashes, and the beauty mark that peeked under his left eyelid. The more Jun looked at Ruki’s features, the more it felt like he was in a dream. “Please let me do this for you before I have to go.”

Of all the times Ruki asked him to hang out, he never asked in such a pleading tone. But Ruki didn’t have to pay for something to hang out. Jun would have been happy to spend time with his old best friend. Like when they were young, carefree, and had all the time in the world. Perhaps Ruki saw that with Jun.

As adults, time had turned them into completely different men. Almost strangers. Maybe Ruki wanted to go back to that time, just like Jun did. He wanted to believe that’s why Ruki was desperate.