Page 1

1

Departure

Jun knew when Alex dragged him out of his room, it was a bad idea. It didn’t start to sink in until he stepped into Sunshine Mall’s noisy crowd. The chatter, the shoe squeaks on the floor tiles, and the bright reflection from the expansive skylight overstimulated Jun beyond his limits.

He couldn’t remember the last time this many people surrounded him. For the past three months, the only living person Jun had been around was Alex. And that was on rare occasions, in the middle of the night, while stuffing his face with pizza, smoking a joint, and watching Adult Swim in their living room. Being back in this foreign space made Jun want to run back into his room and curl up in bed.

“Let’s go, man,” said Alex, nudging him with his shoulder.

Jun stumbled, his ruminating thoughts of escape interrupted. Jun caught himself with a grunt and pulled his dark hoodie over his head. It barely covered the brittle bleached ends of his long hair and his dark and dry, sleep-deprived eyes.

“It’s not like I asked to come here in the first place,” Jun grumbled.

Already a few feet away, Alex didn’t hear him, busy texting with one thumb. Even though he wasn’t very hard to spot in the crowd with his bright pink, shoulder-length hair, Jun was deathly afraid he’d lose him. He rushed past the people coming from the opposite direction and found himself wheezing. Catching up, he hoped no one noticed him. The paranoia only fed the looming thoughts that had pounded his head since he left his room.

“You good?” asked Alex.

Jun glanced up. Alex furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side, frowning. At least he’s the only person who noticed.

“Y-yeah,” Jun said.

Alex’s gray eyes looked him over. Jun looked down at his gaudy magical girl sweater, the closest thing he grabbed beside his bed that could hide his pajamas. Perhaps he didn’t have the greatest style, but he didn’t see anything wrong with his outfit.

Alex sighed. “Well, it’s a good thing we got you outside for some exercise. Even if it is the mall.”

Heat bloomed in his cheeks as Alex started walking ahead, chuckling.

“I exercise!” Jun argued, trying to keep up. When they reached the bottom of the escalator, Jun took a deep breath and stepped on behind Alex. “You’re just never there when I do it,” he muttered.

Alex looked over his shoulder, judging. “Bro, you’re either asleep or shut behind your door, playing fucking Call of Duty.”

The insult panged Jun’s heart. Despite living under the same roof, they barely knew each other. “I haven’t played that in years. It’s mostly GTA, it just came out—”

Alex made a noise between a choke and a laugh. He rubbed across his freckled face, smoothing out his pink bangs sticking out beneath his black wool beanie. “Goddamn dude,” he mumbled. He sucked in a breath and hopped off the escalator. “If you continue to shut yourself out from the world, you’re gonna go insane. Literally.”

“Says who?” Jun countered, stepping off after him and stopping to stand beside Alex. Despite knowing Alex for years, it still threw him off that he was now a few inches taller than him.

“I don’t know, science articles and shit. Look, listen.” He placed a hand on Jun’s shoulder and rocked him once. He didn’t let go until Jun looked him in the eye. “I know it’s been really fucking hard. I get it. But do you know how depressing it is to see you like this? I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen or heard you walk out of the apartment since the Paragon Incident in June.”

His eyes watered as televised images of the burning office building crawled back to his mind.

Missing renowned scientist echoed in his head, long after the newscaster said it.

Jun squeezed his eyes, trying to push the anguishing memory back into its dormant state.

Alex probably noticed it too. He averted his gaze to his feet. “We all miss him.”

Him. Jun’s heart skipped. His throat tightened, constricting his breathing. An episode couldn’t happen now. Not here. He swallowed the building acid, hoping his rapid heartbeat would calm down.

“Who’s we?” Jun asked.

Alex shrugged, stuffing his hands into his thick sweatpants’ pockets. “You know. Me and Yoona.”

Jun’s heart thundered in the silence. Then Alex went on.

“Not just her,” he admitted, wiping his nose. “The other day, I ran into her and Maya and Hanh, and they all said they were worried about you. Hanh said even Shawn was too.”

Jun tried to place the names. He used to say them daily—study sessions, weekend plans, a life that didn’t feel like his anymore.