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I looked over at her. "Years?"
She nodded. "Even when I'm sleeping, I'm thinking about work. I wake up at three in the morning remembering an email I forgot to send or a meeting I need to reschedule."
"Sounds exhausting."
"It is." She sighed. "Sometimes I think I've built this entire life that looks really impressive from the outside, and I don't even know if I like living it."
That got my attention. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, I have everything I thought I wanted. The company. The money. The house. The title." She paused. "By most people’s standards, I’m successful."
"Okay."
"And I worked my ass off to get here."
"As a longtime admirer of said ass, I appreciate your dedication.”
She laughed, then shook her head with a sigh, "So why doesn't it feel like enough?"
I studied her. "Can I ask you something?"
She nodded.
"If nobody knew what you did for a living, would you still want to do it?"
She looked at me and remained silent. For once, Mikayla Parsons didn't have an immediate answer.
Finally, she shrugged. "I don't know."
My head tilted. "Seems like that might be worth figuring out."
She looked back toward the valley. "It's not that simple."
"Never said it was."
She pulled a blade of grass from the ground. "Growing up, I thought being successful would solve everything."
"Everything?"
She gave a small, humorless laugh. "Did you know I thought Abraham St. Claire was my dad?"
I frowned.
"Deacon’s father?"
She nodded. "I thought he was my father."
Thought?
I had a thousand questions, but I knew if she wanted to tell me, she would. One wrong move and she’d put those walls back up.
"My mom worked for him thirty years ago, and they had an affair. He was married. He had a wife and child, the whole picture-perfect family. And then there was me." She twisted the blade of grass around her finger. "His dirty little secret."
Something ugly settled in my gut. I hated hearing her describe herself in that way.
"He paid for everything: private schools, cheerleading, college tuition. Anything that cost money, he covered."
"How often did you see him?"