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poor baby! you deserve only the best kisses, Cameron

I don’t know what to say.

I wish I’d had better kisses. I wish I had other kisses to compare it to. I wish I knew what I was doing. The idea of kissing Gwen is…soothing, I guess. Safe. She’d teach me. She’d take care of me, like she said. But it’s not as exciting as what I can conjure in my mind with Lucien. Not even close. I almost think I’d take the imagined version of Lucien over anything real. But that’s fucking crazy. I need to lose my virginity because it’s not normal to be a virgin in college. Fuck, it’s pathetic.

I close my eyes again, trying to summon the fantasy: Lucien’s hands in my hair, his mouth on mine, the weight of him between my legs.

But now there’s guilt mixed in with the arousal. I shouldn’t be thinking about him like this. I have Gwen. She wants me. She’s real, and she’s a woman.

But when I close my eyes, it’s still Lucien’s face I want to see.

It’s his mouth I want.

HALLOWEEN

10

LUCIEN

I’m following him from a distance, tracking his stupid backward white hat. I’m close enough to see his hair peeking out from underneath. Fuck. I want to rake my fingers in his hair, pull his head back, make him look at me before I devour him.

Stop.

Focus.

He’s with Liam and two other guys I don’t recognize. They’re dressed casually in jeans and hoodies.

I know where they’re going. Cameron told Gwen all about it. Tonight, they’re hitting the haunted house in one of the old brick buildings with pillars on the edge of campus.

I’m dressed to blend in, wearing a black hoodie and dark jeans. It’s nothing that would draw attention, except for the skull mask pulled over my head. But almost everyone entering the haunted house is wearing a costume, so it helps hide me from Cameron. The black mesh over the eyes allows me to see perfectly, but no one can see in, and the mesh behind the nose holes makes breathing easier.

I follow the four of them to the building, hanging back as they approach the entrance. There’s a line of students waiting to get in, most of them in costumes, laughing and taking photos. Cameron and his friends join the line, and I slip in behind a group of girls dressed as angels and devils.

When I reach the front, a guy with a tablet asks for payment.

“Venmo okay?”

“Yeah, man. It’s @HayworthHaunt.”

I pull out my phone and send fifteen dollars. He checks and nods, then waves me through.

Inside, the lighting is dim. Purple and green and red. The first room is decorated like a graveyard, with fog machines pumping mist across the floor and plastic tombstones scattered around. Actors dressed as zombies lurch toward people, groaning, reaching out with fake-bloodied hands.

Cameron and his friends are ahead of me, laughing.

I watch as one of the zombie actors stumbles toward Cameron. He reveals a grin that makes my chest ache and sidesteps easily, his movements fluid and graceful.

God, he’s so fucking beautiful.

His teeth look even brighter under the black lights. He’s always had an adorable smile. That’s what kills me. He never smiles like that for me. He only blesses other people with that smile. A stab of jealousy cuts through me as I watch Liam make Cameron laugh and the way Cameron leans into Liam’s shoulder. Nope. I don’t like that.

Other people get the real Cameron. I only get the Cameron who runs. But tonight, he won’t be able to run.

We move through the next room, a mirror maze designed to disorient and confuse. Cameron and his friends navigate it easily. Their laughter echoes off the glass. I follow behind them, my eyes never leaving Cameron’s white hat.

The next room is crowded, packed with college students all navigating the narrow hallway at once, everyone pushing and shoving to get through. The actors perform a mock exorcism with heavy use of fake green vomit. Some of the college girls in the crowd scream and push to get out. The crowd surges, slamming against the hard and soft body parts of strangers in a frantic effort to exit.

I see my opportunity. I position myself strategically and block Cameron from exiting while his friends rush out, separating him from them. Now I just need to get him alone.