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“Know what?”

“About us. I mean, this is permanent, Lucien.” He drags his fingers across the tattoo.

I reach down and brush my fingers through his hair, gently. “I’ve known for a long time, Cam.”

He looks up at me as he slides his hand up my thigh to palm me through my boxers.

Fuck.

It feels so good when he touches me. It’s been days, days of thinking I’d lost him, days of believing I’d never feel this again. The relief is almost painful.

He hooks his fingers in the waistband and pulls my boxers down. My cock springs free, already hard, slapping against my abs.

“Whoa,” Cameron says under his breath, and there’s something like awe in his voice.

Then he takes me into his mouth, a tight, sucking heat, and I arch my back and groan.

“My God, Cam.” My voice is rough, desperate. “You don’t know how good that feels.”

He keeps sucking, pulling me to the back of his throat, and I start bucking into him. I can’t help it. My hand finds the back of his head, fingers tangling in his soft hair, and I feel him relax as I guide him up and down my cock.

The sounds he makes, little hums of effort and pleasure, drive me insane. I palm the back of his head more firmly, setting the rhythm, and he lets me. He lets me use his mouth, lets me take what I need.

“That’s it, baby,” I breathe. “Just like that. You’re so fucking perfect.”

He moans around me, and the vibration nearly undoes me. I’m close. Too close, too fast, but I don’t want this to end. Don’t want to stop feeling his mouth on me, his hands gripping my thighs.

“Cam,” I warn, my voice breaking. “I’m gonna…”

He doesn’t pull off. Just keeps going, keeps sucking, and when I come, it’s with a groan that’s dragged out of me. He swallows everything, his throat working around me, and I want to lose myself in him forever.

When he finally pulls off, his lips are swollen and wet. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and looks up at me with his big brown eyes, and I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.

I pull him up to me, kissing him deeply and tasting myself on his tongue. He makes a small sound of surprise but melts into it, his body settling against mine.

“Come here,” I murmur against his lips.

We shift until we’re lying side by side, facing each other. I drape my arms around him and pull him close. I tug at his jacket and hoodie.

“Take these off.”

He sits up and removes them. Now he’s only in a T-shirt as he settles his body against me. I wrap my arms around him.

For a long time, we just lie there, breathing together, our hearts gradually slowing.

My mind wanders.

I’m going to Connecticut for Christmas. I’m going to meet Cameron’s mother.

Maybe I’m not poison. Maybe I’m not going to ruin everything I touch. Maybe I’m allowed to have this. To have him.

Cameron’s breathing has slowed, evening out. I think he might be falling asleep. I press a kiss to the top of his head and tighten my arms around him.

“I love you,” I whisper into his hair.

He stirs, makes a sleepy sound of contentment, and burrows into my chest.

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