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“Of course not. I never plan anything.”
Like every word out of his mouth, that’s a lie. I know I should be relieved. This is exactly what I’ve been waiting on. My car will be fixed, and I can get away from here and Antonio and finally turn him in.
The thought doesn’t excite me like it used to though.
Not when I remember Lynx.
It’s easy enough to pretend like I could be happy staying here in this nowhere town when I don’t have a choice to be here. But once my car is fixed, it won’t be pretend anymore. I’ll have to make an actual choice.
Go live the life I think I’m supposed to be living.
Or stay here, forever in danger, hoping that Lynx doesn’t get sick of me?
I leave the chop shop, thinking Bob will be waiting, but he isn’t. Thankfully, this is one path that I actually know well, and while I’m not thrilled about having to walk back alone, at least I won’t get lost.
Over toward what I’m assuming is the arena, there are flashes of lights and more motors sounding than earlier. I think everyone is leaving, which means Foley must have been the last fight, so hopefully, Lynx will be on his way back home around now as well.
Would Wilde continue these Peril nights if he knew how much they messed with Lynx’s head? Does he know how much the outsiders bring back Lynx’s memories?
That’s something I’ll need to talk to him about later. For now, I just want to get back and spend the rest of the night with Lynx. I can worry about the rest tomorrow.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-ONE
LYNX
Staying with my cubs on a Peril night is never a hardship. Sure, they’re loud and annoying and make questionable choices, but I’d rather be subjected to all of that than to spend the night constantly on edge about where they are and what, if anything, is happening to them.
The outsiders in town are never a good sign. I’ve said it so many times, and people still won’t listen. Peril brings us money, they argue, so it’s worth it. Worth gambling the safety and secrecy of everything we’ve built here just to earn some cash.
Tonight, the anxiety that usually settles once I’m with my cubs just won’t calm. I spend most of the night pacing the Cutty, where my tiny creatures shriek and laugh and play card games, while a pressure settles on my chest. This is exactly the reason why it was ridiculous to get involved. I knew it, and I did it anyway.
“Think it should be done by now,” Matt says, Leo asleep in his lap.
He’s right. It’s rare Peril lasts this late, but I always like to make sure. I can’t make out any distant engines, and these kids need sleep. “Let’s get them home.”
Matt and I deliver Grace and JJ to their house, and then drop his siblings off with Nixon. I pause when Matt doesn’t go inside.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re not going home, are you?”
I eye him, curious how he knew that. “I’m going to go and meet Sasha.”
He nods. “I’ll come with you.”
“Then I’ll have to double back and make sure you get here okay.”
“Bob can walk me.” Matt cracks a smile. “I’m not a kid anymore. I’m practically eighteen.”
“Practically” isn’t the same as “actually,” but I can’t deny that the months don’t matter. Matt is skilled, and he’s physically larger than Nixon was at his age. He’s going to be a capable protector wherever he ends up. “Fine. We’ll get Sasha and Bob, then Bob will walk you home.”
There’s nothing different about tonight except for the route I take home. Yet something feels off. While Peril will be finished, Booker usually works long into the night, checking everyone out before they head home. Sasha will likely be working for hours, but I’ll sit there and wait, just to make sure he doesn’t have to find his way back alone. I’m sure by now that he could do it, but I don’t like the thought of him walking around alone any more than I’d allow my cubs to do it.
I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about, but I always worry.
Especially when I get to the chop shop and find it empty.
