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Calla: Murder emergency or Theo emergency?

Serena: I feel like if it was an actual murder, you’d lead with “Guess who got shanked” so I’m betting on Theo.

Lila: You guys. He defended me.

What, you thought I was going to tell them about the sex dream? Not a chance in hell.

Calla: … Like, legally?

Lila: Emily’s cousin was being his usual irritating self, and then he turned his sleaze toward me and said something wildly inappropriate

Calla: Gasp.

Serena: Did he die immediately after or?

Lila: Theo went full cold, terrifying, “I will personally make sure it’s the last thing you say” mode.

Calla: Oh my god.

Serena: OH MY GOD.

Calla: HE REALLY SAID TOUCH HER AND DIE

Serena: Or, touch her and I’ll cut your tongue out. Which is equally as romantic.

Lila: It was like, voice low, glare cold, entire-room-silent kind of thing.

Calla: I simply cannot.

Lila: It gets worse.

Calla: Better, you mean.

Lila: He was touchy.

Serena: EXCUSE ME.

Lila: Like hand on my thigh under the table, playing with my hair, perfectly placed temple kiss touchy.

Calla: I need to physically lie down.

Serena: I need details. I need analysis.

Lila: I DON’T KNOW, OKAY?? I think it was for show? Maybe? But also??

Serena: But also??

Calla: NO ONE CAN SEE UNDER THE TABLE LILA

Lila: I am so fucked.

Calla: Yeah, babe. We know.

Serena: All that aside, how’s your romantic weekend getaway filled with deception, murder, and confusing sexual tension?

Lila: Horseback riding in the morning.

Lila: Maybe.