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Lila: It’s a chaise lounge.

Lila: There’s no way in hell he fits.

Serena: You’re calling him Theo now???

Calla: Oh, she’s so done for.

Lila: No. NO. Don’t you dare. This is not a thing. It’s an inconvenience. A logistical nightmare. A violation of my personal space rights.

Serena: A set-up from the gods of forced proximity and unresolved sexual tension.

Calla: You and I have read this book before, babe. You two are about five chapters away from some kind of “omg he has a pierced dick” situation.

Lila: That will not be happening.

Lila: One, because it’s just NOT.

Lila: And two, Theo Grayson is the literal last person on earth to do something like get a fucking dick piercing. He’s too buttoned up. Too STIFF.

Serena: Something’s gonna be stiff HEH HEH HEH

Calla: What was his reaction? Did he look at the bed, then at you, then sigh like the weight of the world had been placed on his irritable, well-muscled shoulders?

Lila: … I hate you both.

Calla: I KNEW IT.

Serena: Babe, you’re sharing a bed with the hot professor you’ve been verbally sparring with for over a year. At this point, I don’t even know if I want you to solve this murder. There are so many MUCH MORE ENTERTAINING things you could be doing this week.

Calla: Yeah, can you focus on the real mystery here? Which is: How long before you snap and climb him like a tree?

Serena: ENTERTAINING AND ORGASMIC

Lila: Blocking both of you.

Calla: Lila.

Serena: Lila, no.

Lila: [Lila has left the group.]

Calla: She’ll be back.

Serena: Yep. Probably at 2AM when she’s wide awake and stuck listening to his unlabored breathing as she gazes upon how sexy he looks when his face is soft with sleep and the weight of his past has melted away from his chiseled features.

Calla: Can’t wait.

4

CLOSE QUARTERS

LILA

There’s nothing quite like the experience of getting ready for bed while simultaneously trying to process a closed murder case, an ongoing investigation, and the increasingly absurd reality of being in a fake relationship with a man who, by all indications, would rather be anywhere else in the world than stuck in a room with me.

Oh, and the looming possibility that I might have to share a bed with him.

Love that for me.