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I’m hyper motivated to write now, so I open a new Word doc and get ready to type.

“You’re wrong, you know,” I say without looking up from my computer.

“What am I wrong about?”

“You’re not a total stranger. I know exactly who you are, Lincoln.”

He doesn’t respond, but I hear him clicking away on his computer.

CHAPTER

NINETEEN

LINCOLN

Iam a rarity, an anomaly in the human mind.

I possess a profound comprehension of my identity and what defines me. It is a strange sensation, being aware of my reality, yet living a life devoid of emotions with a deep clarity of my purpose. I can envision what it’s like to be a machine programmed for a specific task without the agency to deviate from its intended purpose. I recognize when there is a flaw in the system that makes up my flawless mind.

I’m losing control.

Every second Summer is around us, Mikael grows stronger, more aware, and alert. Those tendrils are spinning. The whiplash-inducing shift from his psychotic hatred of Summer to an equally intense, blind love is deeply unsettling. It’s not surprising, considering Mikael created me the moment he saw her. Or at least, let me grow from the fragment I was before that. Part of me has always existed, but that was my first real memory as a separate entity.

He initially programmed me to protect her. But I grew stronger and took over his life and made it my own. His life got infinitely better, and I finished the requirements for my degree within record time. Dr. Garcia used her power to legally change my name. Which was easy since she kept him hidden in her basement for years, and Lucy homeschooled him. He had no friends, no acquaintances.

A life of zero substance.

Which is why I’m doing my best to keep my distance from Summer since she came into my office, even though she’s all I think about. I can’t protect her the way I need to when I’m around her. Earlier this week, I gave into temptation and answered her call. I helped her study, she took off her clothes and let me watch her as she did naughty things, and then she eventually fell asleep with her camera on.

Mikael, as chaotic as he is, is simple. His mind never progressed beyond the day I was formed. He didn’t need to, since I took over that role. He’s still an adolescent—an angry adolescent with zero control over his emotions. And now, whenever we’re in her presence, it feels like we’re united, almost indistinguishable.

Almost, but not quite.

There is something else festering in my mind, something more complex I can’t quite comprehend. I sensed it in the office when I watched Summer leave, and again when she took off her clothes for me a few days ago. It’s growing, deepening its roots, almost as if this emotion doesn’t belong to him, but to me.

It’s Saturday night, and I’m working at my desk as loud music pumps from upstairs. I take my contacts out, and for a moment my vision is blurred until I slip my glasses on and take a moment to admire the photos he snapped of her the weekend she moved in.

I can’t deny how badly I want her. My fascination with Summer Landry has unexpectedly morphed into something else.

She has zero fear, just primal lust for a masked man who’s already proved dangerous. Even if she has put the pieces together that it’s me.

Mikael flutters up my spine at the thought of her.

“Relax. She wasn’t reacting to you.”

He flutters again. “Yes, she was.”

Admittedly, he might be right. The nights we shared with Summer are blurred. A push and pull between him and I.

His love. His hate.

Love. Hate. Love. Hate.

He had a brief moment of sanity before his hatred completely consumed him. It was during this time he did the most selfless thing he could do.

He put himself in a box.

All I have are fleeting moments of satisfaction, frustration, and anger, which put me on a constant pursuit of pleasure and knowledge, which is a wonderful place to be.