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I threw my arms around him. I didn’t care about the past few months. I was just happy to see my brother.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my head in his shoulder to hide my tears. We stayed that way for a long time, just holding each other.

Finally, I released him, only to discover that Mom was crying and Alan had his arm around her. Cece was standing with Dad, but she didn’t look at all surprised by my brother’s sudden appearance.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Was this your doing?”

She shook her head. “This was all Levi. He wanted to surprise you for Christmas.”

I turned back to my brother. “Is that true?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. It is.” He glanced around. “Is there somewhere more private we can talk?”

“I—” I swallowed hard, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my brother was here. And he wanted to talk. I wanted to believe this was a good thing, but I was scared to get my hopes up. “Yeah. Come on.”

He followed me to the boxed-off area of stadium seating designated for the suite. I leaned against the glass balcony that overlooked the ice, and he ran a hand through his hair.

I was tempted to apologize again or say something, but that was how I’d always responded in the past. I’d push for answers. I’d push Levi to talk, even when he didn’t want to, even when he wasn’t ready. If I wanted to have a relationship built on honesty and trust moving forward, then I couldn’t respond in the same way I always had.

Levi had come to me. I needed to let him say what he needed to say.

“I’m not sure where to start,” he admitted, flashing me a sheepish grin. “But I, um—” He rolled his lips between his teeth. “I’m sorry for shutting you out these past few months. I just wasn’t… I couldn’t—” He let out a shaky breath. “Let me start again.”

“Lee.” I placed my hand over his, hating that he was so nervous—with me. “Can I just say how happy I am to see you first?”

He lifted his head, perking up a little. “Really?”

“Of course. I know things haven’t been easy the past few months, but you’re my brother, and I will always love you.”

“Love you too,” he said, and something in me eased. “Life has felt…really quiet without you.”

I nodded, swiping away a tear. “It’s been really quiet without you too.”

“I’m sorry I had to take a step back from the podcast for a while. And I’m sorry I was so caught up in my own feelings about Carson that I couldn’t see how happy you were.”

“I—” I closed my mouth, opened it, then closed it once more.

Levi toed at the floor. “I’ve been going to therapy. I think I had a lot of unresolved trauma around the divorce and Carson’s betrayal. And it sort of all rolled together and became this even bigger thing in my mind.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry it was so hard for you, but I’m glad you’ve been talking to someone.”

“I wish I’d done it before. I feel like…” He blew out a breath. “I wish I hadn’t waited until life got to this crisis point for me to seek help with my mental health. And I hate that it’s taken such a toll on our relationship.”

“Lee,” I chided. “This wasn’t all on you.”

“True, but if I hadn’t tried to push down my feelings for so many years, maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so bad.”

I nodded because I couldn’t disagree. For so many years, Levi had avoided difficult conversations, avoided his feelings, until he couldn’t hold it in anymore. It was good to see him working through that, tough as it might be.

“This time apart made me realize some things too,” I said. “I’m sorry for not being honest with you. As counterintuitive as it sounds, I was trying to protect you. But I don’t like that we were keeping things from each other. That’s not the kind of relationship I want to have going forward.”

“Me either, but I also don’t know where to go from here.”

“How about this?” I asked, feeling more hopeful. “How about we promise not to shove down our feelings or lie to each other in an attempt to protect each other? Because in doing so, we’re actually weakening our relationship.”

His shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. “That seems like a good place to start.”

It was a good start, but unfortunately, we still hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room. My relationship with Carson.