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I didn’t want my parents to feel as if they had to choose between us, and I didn’t want to take even more away from my brother. So, I’d told them to visit Levi because I was too busy with Friendsgiving.

“I’m sorry, Lo,” Carson said, conversation continuing around us.

I placed my hand on his thigh beneath the table. “You have nothing to apologize for, and honestly, I want to enjoy today without thinking about it.”

It was so nice to be surrounded by so many friends who were more like family to me. It took some of the sting out of not spending the holiday with Alan, Levi, and our parents.

Was I sad about the situation with my brother? Of course.

But I could also enjoy sharing this meal with my friends.

Two things can be true at once. I smiled, thinking of my mom, and I took a quick picture of everyone and sent it to her. She responded almost immediately.

Mom: Love you, sweetheart.

After the meal, everyone pitched in to help clean up, the Hollywood Heatwaves football game playing in the background. I wandered outside to enjoy Bryn’s garden and ended up sitting beneath the pergola, surrounded by Kylie, Georgia, and Cece. Bryn nursed Morgan, smiling when a butterfly came to rest on one of the pergola support beams.

“Hi, Derek,” she whispered, and I closed my eyes briefly, enjoying the feeling of the sunshine warming my skin.

I wasn’t the only one balancing conflicting emotions on this day. Yet Bryn had found a way to celebrate her late husband while remaining firmly grounded in the present. I knew it wasn’t always easy, but she navigated her grief with so much grace, and I admired her for it.

Georgia leaned into me. I hadn’t seen her as much lately now that my season had started and she’d moved out of our building. She was renting a bungalow closer to Malibu and was working as a freelance celebrity hair stylist. She’d even been doing some traveling—both for work and for fun. Probably most shocking of all, she’d cut her hair short—bob length—and she’d embraced a red tone that was close to her natural color.

“So…the new podcast format? Is this going to be a thing for the rest of the season?” she asked.

I dragged a hand through my hair. “I wish I knew.”

She wasn’t the only one asking. Cam had been wondering the same thing, even if he’d continued to work with us through our new arrangement. It was nice to get to visit with some of the other players from the NHL and PWHL, but I missed talking hockey with my brother.

Apparently, our listeners missed our sibling banter as well. We’d received a number of comments requesting we return to the old format. As much as they enjoyed our interviews, they said it just wasn’t the same as before. I didn’t disagree.

“Mm,” Georgia hummed.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not sure when, or if, the format will go back to how it was.” The bridge of my nose stung, but I was determined to ignore it.

“Aw, babe.” She wrapped her arms around me. “I’m sorry. I know this has been hard on you.”

I nodded, but I didn’t want to dwell on it. It had been two months, and I’d made my decision knowing full well this might happen. I had to live with the consequences of my actions, and I only hoped that, one day, my brother would see past his hurt to understand my decisions.

“Thanks.” I sniffed. “But it’s hard to feel too sorry for myself when I have so many other amazing things happening.”

“It’s okay to be sad,” Bryn said, placing her hand over mine. “And it’s okay to feel joy in the midst of sadness. The two can coexist, even as impossible as it seems.”

“That’s just it,” I said. “I want to celebrate all these amazing things, and I do. But the situation with Levi feels like a heavy weight bearing down on me.”

“Then celebrate.” Bryn gave my hand a squeeze before releasing me. “Punishing yourself doesn’t accomplish anything, believe me.”

When I glanced around, I realized all my friends were nodding. “Wait. What?”

“Carson is a good guy,” Georgia said. “Yes, he made a mistake where Levi was concerned, but does he deserve to be punished for the rest of his life?”

In the months since Cece’s wedding party, I’d shared more about the situation with my friends. Levi had introduced Alan to everyone as his partner, and he’d since posted more on his socials about their relationship.

I considered Georgia’s question a moment. Before I could respond, Cece was jumping in. “You know I love your brother. I think he’s great, but honestly, he needs to pull his head out of his ass.”

I jerked my head back, laughing a little. “What?”

“You heard me.” Cece was never one to back down, even when her opinion was controversial. “Carson has evolved. You have evolved, and Levi is still hung up on the past. That dig about—” She pitched her voice low to mimic my brother’s. “‘Who, Logan? She’s not interested in dating. Hockey first. Am I right?’” Her impression of my brother was a bit uncanny.