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“Levi will have to come to his own conclusions about Carson and his character. Just as you will have to make your own decisions.”
“I just—” I huffed. “I don’t know what to do.”
Mom stared out at the scenery, a serene look on her face that made her seem as solid and reliable as the rock walls that had been here for longer than we had and would remain long after we’d gone. “What does your heart tell you?”
I closed my eyes. It was easy to stay on the surface, focus on my fears. But I tried to sink down, as Coach had said, so I could rise back up.
Was I willing to sacrifice my relationship with my brother to be with the man I loved? The idea of losing Levi physically pained me. But then I also had to ask myself if I was willing to give up Carson to save my relationship with Levi? And a tear slipped down my cheek, because I couldn’t imagine doing that either. It was an impossible choice.
“I don’t want to lose either of them,” I admitted, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “Levi is my brother and one of my closest friends. But I can’t imagine my life without Carson.”
When I opened my eyes, Mom was smiling, but it was tinged with sadness. I’d fallen in love, but it wasn’t without complications.
Finally, Mom said, “I suppose it’s a bit like Thanksgiving.”
I tilted my head. “How do you figure?”
“Two things can be true at once. You can be in love with Carson but also not want to hurt Levi.”
I wrapped my arms around myself. I understood what she was saying, but I was finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile those two very different ideas. “Do you think Levi will ever come around?”
She placed her hand over mine. “I honestly don’t know. And at some point, you may have to decide whether loving Carson is worth the risk.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Iknocked on the door to Boone’s apartment. He’d been ignoring me for nearly a week, and I’d let myself wallow for long enough. I may not be able to fix things with Levi. I might have no clue where I stood with Logan. But maybe I could repair my relationship with Boone.
Even though I didn’t owe him the details of my relationship with Logan, I could understand how he might feel like a fool after everything that had happened. And I didn’t like that my actions had caused a friend pain. I owed it to our friendship, but I also owed it to the team. I didn’t want to start the new season in a bad place, not after how far we’d come.
He opened the door only to just as quickly slam it in my face. “Go away.”
“Boone,” I called through the closed door. “Come on. Open up.”
“I’m not home,” he grumbled.
“You just opened the door.”
“Boone isn’t accepting callers right at present.” Was that a hint of a British accent?
I furrowed my brow, assuming it was just another of my teammate’s quirks. “What?”
“You heard me.” This time less British, more gruff.
“I did, but I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
He groaned. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
“Boone,” I chided. “Please. Just give me a few minutes to explain. And if you still want to be mad after that, then fine.”
He was quiet, and I decided it was time to pull out the big guns. “I brought food.”
There was a pause, and I wondered if he was considering it. Then he grumbled, “I’m not hungry.” What a grump. He sounded like my little sisters when they used to pout about something.
“Not even for lemon-lavender French toast from the Huxley Grand?”
I heard a groan from behind the door. I waited a moment, and then he opened it and held out his hand. “Gimme.”
“Only if you let me in.”